Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55647) - you deserved it (7456)
On 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my town had a carnival to raise money for cancer. I ran a kissing booth, when a really cute guy came up paid his $20, looked at me, and said "not even for cancer." He took his money and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71291) - you deserved it (5686)
On 03/20/2009 at 10:39pm - love - by cancerfreak (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23544) - you deserved it (85287)
On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49752) - you deserved it (22591)
On 03/20/2009 at 7:35pm - misc - by cjj325 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had artfully managed to avoid anyone knowing that I was moving into a trailer park. I showed up at the trailer where all my friends, co-workers, and exes were waiting. My parents knew I was feeling down and wanted to throw me a surprise 'moving in' party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53112) - you deserved it (3129)
On 03/20/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by TrailerTrash (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we got inside my mom yells to me "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106640) - you deserved it (5299)
On 03/20/2009 at 5:16pm - misc - by megan228 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, as I was getting my mail, I received a free coupon from a baby supply store saying "congratulations on your expectancy." Thinking it was a mistake, I showed my girlfriend, who I am living with. All she had to say was "Surprise!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (64835) - you deserved it (12112)
On 03/20/2009 at 5:04pm - kids - by daddy-to-be (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I decided I would tell my mom I'm not going to marry my fiancé because it just didn't feel right, only to walk into my own surprise engagement party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49458) - you deserved it (6780)
On 03/20/2009 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boss came back from a 2 week vacation. I was the only one covering for him, and I did an excellent job. It was my chance to get a promotion. I actually improved his sales while he was gone. But the only thing he noticed was that I killed his plant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56504) - you deserved it (441)
On 03/20/2009 at 4:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messed with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, and several other nasty and perverted things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends liked this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48637) - you deserved it (6197)
On 03/20/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by noname (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106466) - you deserved it (4229)
On 03/20/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by Cindy (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (104824) - you deserved it (7699)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by hipprep83 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life". She has had the same mullet hair cut since '84. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64596) - you deserved it (6747)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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