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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML

#21198479
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25176) - you deserved it (38355)

On 07/04/2014 at 1:35pm - misc - by Oops - United States

Today, I was reviewing documents at work, only to find one of my coworkers has been signing off on paperwork, claiming he's been walking one of the residents daily. Aside from being a double leg amputee, the patient died two weeks ago. The state review board comes this week. FML

#21198473
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35917) - you deserved it (3434)

On 07/04/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by cakefete2 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

#21197788
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47836) - you deserved it (6007)

On 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AJL - United States

Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML

#21197391
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42923) - you deserved it (7845)

On 07/03/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by blood buddies - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML

#21197152
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34513) - you deserved it (24604)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:29am - money - by notacashier - United States (New York)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

#21196912
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50267) - you deserved it (11802)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML

#21196800
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38735) - you deserved it (6802)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:12pm - love - by thatsnotmyname - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41079) - you deserved it (23232)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML

#21195344
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (21114)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm - misc - by wiifantcso (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49186) - you deserved it (4148)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after losing his job, I reassured my boyfriend by telling him I'd rather be with him living in a cardboard box than to be without him. He responded by telling me he'd rather be dead. FML

#21194528
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41735) - you deserved it (5441)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

#21194527
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46041) - you deserved it (4039)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - work - by where do they come from - United States (Washington)



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