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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I finally got time to take a nap. Later, my mom asked me if I was depressed because I didn't leave my room for 3 hours. She talked to my dad about it, and now my family thinks I'm depressed because I slept for 3 hours. FML

#21306606
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30570) - you deserved it (2422)

On 11/27/2014 at 2:06am - misc - by Sleep. - United States (Missouri)

Today, I thought I'd lost the ring that my boyfriend had given me, in the snow, in the dark. I spent a half hour with a flashlight searching every part of my driveway. The ring was on my kitchen windowsill the whole time. I took it off earlier to do dishes. FML

#21306486
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26763) - you deserved it (6645)

On 11/26/2014 at 10:33pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mother requested that I return the $500 she had previously given me to help me pay for college. Her reasoning? "You work three jobs, you can afford it." I work three jobs because she decided buying herself a car was more important than my schooling. FML

Today, I went to get myself a latte to make myself feel better after having a bad day. As soon as I sat down to enjoy it, I spilled it all over myself, another customer, and the floor. FML

#21306295
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26635) - you deserved it (2746)

On 11/26/2014 at 4:01pm - misc - by UsuallyaUnicornbread (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33822) - you deserved it (5339)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, what few friends I have won't talk to me anymore. My ex told them she dumped me because I abused her. I never abused her. What really happened is that she dumped me in a rage after I refused to give her money for drugs. Nobody's even asked for my side of the story. FML

#21306153
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35847) - you deserved it (2267)

On 11/26/2014 at 11:42am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I frantically told my parents that my bank account had no money. Turns out, they took the $1,600 I had saved up from a summer job and invested it in penny-stocks. I was grounded because they were "doing it for the family," and I'm being selfish. They also had lost it all in a matter of days. FML

#21306100
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38533) - you deserved it (2392)

On 11/26/2014 at 9:13am - money - by poor man - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my dog likes to howl when he hears sirens. I live next to the fire station. FML

#21305878
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28651) - you deserved it (3181)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by drreeeewwww - United States (Kentucky)

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

#21305863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32610) - you deserved it (2618)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML

#21305750
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27454) - you deserved it (2255)

On 11/25/2014 at 11:14am - misc - by Blöde Gans - United States (Florida)

Today, a group of protesters set up just outside my residence hall at one in the morning. After an hour of chanting, the police finally told them to stop, and I was finally able to get some sleep. The protesters responded by pulling the fire alarm in every residence hall on campus. FML

#21305749
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30599) - you deserved it (2610)

On 11/25/2014 at 11:13am - misc - by IHateProtesters (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was in a good mood for once and my professor looks at me and says, "I don't know what you ate for breakfast but you're really annoying today." FML

#21305482
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28411) - you deserved it (3209)

On 11/24/2014 at 10:25pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML

#21305429
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (3240)

On 11/24/2014 at 9:17pm - misc - by Hammy - United States (Michigan)



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