Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, while getting on the subway, I tripped over the gap between the train and the platform. My flip-flop caught on the edge, and fell into the gap. I had to walk home with one flip-flop. FML

#12833502
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25327) - you deserved it (9102)

On 08/31/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by grossfoot (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

#12832697
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40318) - you deserved it (7013)

On 08/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML

#12832622
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27387) - you deserved it (15082)

On 08/31/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by bennyp77 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to play my friends the demo CD that I've spent all summer recording. I didn't tell them it was me. Not even 10 seconds into the first song, my best friend asked me to turn it off because it sucked. FML

#12826114
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28782) - you deserved it (6383)

On 08/30/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

Today, my external hard drive broke. My husband tried to fix it, and the computer told him he needed to format it. Apparently he didn't know what formatting does, so he did it. I'm a wedding photographer and had a full summer of unfinished wedding photography on there. FML

#12822574
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38291) - you deserved it (7139)

On 08/30/2010 at 2:42pm - work - by photogirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43619) - you deserved it (15801)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

#12817288
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43338) - you deserved it (13273)

On 08/30/2010 at 3:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML

#12816242
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38050) - you deserved it (6695)

On 08/30/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been asked by multiple people "why he is going out with such an ugly girl." FML

#12815819
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34428) - you deserved it (3937)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:35am - love - by hjufidskndf - United States

Today, I went to an audition for a play. The casting director thanked me for my time, but told me they would pass because I had "the emotional range of a turnip." FML

#12812142
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21833) - you deserved it (6920)

On 08/29/2010 at 10:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML

#12810587
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136243) - you deserved it (13133)

On 08/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by soldierboy - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a over a year broke up with me. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't written him a long letter about how much I love him, and that I'm so glad we're together and so glad that he promised he would always be there. He'll be getting it in a few days. FML

#12809670
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32006) - you deserved it (3655)

On 08/29/2010 at 7:41pm - love - by love_letter (woman) - United States (Hawaii)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: