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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, while flying on American Airlines back from visiting family, a new born puked its breakfast all over my HP mini, knocked my orange juice ino my lap, and than coughed up another layer on top of it all. I couldn't change my pants because of we were about to experience turbulance. FML

#6527445
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36093) - you deserved it (2764)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:34am - kids - by coloradoman (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

#6525806
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25020) - you deserved it (2775)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML

#6522437
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31475) - you deserved it (4324)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:39pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

#6521538
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43512) - you deserved it (4693)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He peed and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML

#6517380
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14461) - you deserved it (38890)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by Harry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed minding my own business when my mom entered the room. I was proposed to a few weeks ago by my boyfriend, and my mom came in to tell me that my boyfriend's mom was on the phone. Turns out, he stole the engagement ring from her drawer. FML

#6517359
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34769) - you deserved it (2899)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:52pm - love - by violet (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a funny smelling liquid was sprayed all over the computer. Last week, I told my fully pottytrained but extremely reluctant toddler that he couldn't play Barney games until he used the big boy toilet. A 4 year old's revenge really sucks. FML

#6515596
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25407) - you deserved it (5030)

On 11/29/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

#6512953
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37055) - you deserved it (3207)

On 11/29/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Yoooooo0 (woman) - United States

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

#6512004
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31015) - you deserved it (11599)

On 11/29/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for various people; 17 to be exact. It wasn't until I placed the last present on top of the stack that I realized I didn't put gift tags on any of them. FML

#6510557
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11169) - you deserved it (37273)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was shopping at the grocery market and was next in line. Behind me was a woman who only had two items, so I nicely let her in front of me, as it looked like she was in a hurry. When she was all rung up, she decided to pay her $16.45 in loose change which needed to be counted out. FML

#6510411
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29353) - you deserved it (5715)

On 11/29/2009 at 8:49am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, Me and my girlfriend went and saw "The Blind Side." I sobbed throughout the entire movie. My girlfriend didn't shed a tear. FML

#6509087
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25591) - you deserved it (14436)

On 11/29/2009 at 4:33am - love - by jimmyt420 (man) - United States (California)

Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML

#6508757
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24193) - you deserved it (12081)

On 11/29/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by Nomoresandwish (woman) - United States (California)



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