Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61910) - you deserved it (6083)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by unloved (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to answer it. It was her fiancé that I knew nothing about. She told me she was engaged while I was still inside of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91570) - you deserved it (5937)
On 03/23/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by MID12 (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9964) - you deserved it (92168)
On 03/23/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by lily (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got fired from my job for harassing customers over the weekend. I didn't work over the weekend. I left my nametag there on Friday and my co-workers thought it would be funny to wear my nametag all weekend. One of them got into a fight with a customer and they took her 'name' down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60781) - you deserved it (5138)
On 03/23/2009 at 8:08am - work - by McFired (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53906) - you deserved it (7466)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by Ltl_Dust_Bunny (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I just got back from a Civil War Reenactment in Virginia, my first big event in years. I spent over $200 on gas and food, and had to drive for over 10 hours both ways from Massachusetts. When I finally got there I realized, I had left my uniform at home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20692) - you deserved it (45366)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:51am - misc - by Earthboundb (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18693) - you deserved it (51609)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by whatever (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I received two withdrawl grades in school for droping the classes due to a kidney infection that kept me in the hospital. I wrote a petition to the dean asking to remove the grades. He replied to send a doctor's note. I did this, and he said that I was faking and the note was forged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88590) - you deserved it (2691)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:12am - misc - by snoozer (woman) - United States (California)
Today, me and couple of friends were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car at 30 that had stopped to help her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6535) - you deserved it (73196)
On 03/23/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by mbrooke (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing he replied "well I was looking for your boobs but apparently you have none" FML
I agree, your life sucks (82249) - you deserved it (6164)
On 03/22/2009 at 11:18pm - intimacy - by tinytitty (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98912) - you deserved it (15605)
On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he said he needed to be with someone smart so that he could impress his parents. I just got accepted into medical school. When I pointed that out to him, he added that he needed to be with someone attractive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67904) - you deserved it (3081)
On 03/22/2009 at 9:10pm - love - by Lily (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58142) - you deserved it (24608)
On 03/22/2009 at 9:02pm - kids - by Noca (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
