Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I went to te doctor to get a pulled arm muscle cecked. I told im I ad been bowling, and it ad just started to urt badly. He said it was normal 4 a man of ma age (35) to pull a muscle wen lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I ten told im it was on ma son's Wii. FML

#6748353
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10052) - you deserved it (25955)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:49am - health - by WIIslave (man) - United States (Oregon)

TODAY, I WAS AT THA THAATRA WITH MAH 4-YAAR-OLD SON WHO WAS SITUATAD ON MAH LAP. HALFWAY THROUGH THA MOVIA, HA TURNS TO FACA MA AND STATAS LOUDLY, "MOMMY, YOUR LAGS R SO FURRY!". EVARYONA WATCHING THA SHOW TURNAD AND STARAD AT US. FML

#6747789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22860) - you deserved it (8154)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:58am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was talking to this guy I like . He's very private an hides all his photos an wall posts on Facebook . Or so I thought, turns out he has me on a restricted friends list, titled ( Creepers . ) FML

#6746062
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9816) - you deserved it (22447)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:03am - love - by creeper (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, mah husband was choosing an auto insurance. Geico was $500 and Allstate was $200. He chose Geico because it had a 'cute little lizard.' FML

#6746547
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28760) - you deserved it (4297)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:03am - money - by Cathy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the grocery store where this really cute guy works . I swipd mah card but the machine wouldn't read it . I swipd it quickly some more before getting frustratd an saying, "Your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card an turnd it around . His face said it all . FML

#6741801
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5316) - you deserved it (34141)

On 12/13/2009 at 8:27pm - misc - by MissSmarts (woman) - United States (California)

Today I saw four-year-old son running around outside an copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside I saw dog eating a dead rabbit an son doing the same. mega FML

#6741094
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39190) - you deserved it (5824)

On 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was texting ma friend!! looool He as a istory of depression, wic we were talking about, and someow, e turnd te conversation to: "If we ever broke up, I would kill myself." I didn't even know we were even going out!! FML

#6740845
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35962) - you deserved it (2556)

On 12/13/2009 at 7:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was acceptd to college and receivd a scholarship equal to almost half the tuition. After sharing this news with mah parents, I spent the next 35 minutes getting yelld at about how I wasn't allowd to go there because mah boyfriend might go there. FML

#6740380
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34733) - you deserved it (2068)

On 12/13/2009 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today , I ad a job interview at te bowling alley. Te manager was busy an askd if I could wait. Let's just say I've never bowld before , an I wantd to know ow deep te ole was on te bowling ball. Te interview endd wit im spitting on ma finger , trying to get it out. FML

#6739900
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5845) - you deserved it (28367)

On 12/13/2009 at 4:31pm - work - by bowler (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend . She quoted some song lyrics, saying "If u want to be happy 4 the rest of yur life, make an ugly woman yur wife..." . We all laughed, and then my partner said "Boy, u got THAT right." FML

#6739480
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25179) - you deserved it (3398)

On 12/13/2009 at 3:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, mah boyfriend an I had our parents over to our new apartment 4 the first time . We spent hours cleaning, cooking, an making sure everything was "parent-appropriate." Apparently we didn't notice the S an M catalog in the pile on our coffee table.. . but his mom sure did . FML

#6738802
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7071) - you deserved it (15412)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:55pm - intimacy - by sorrydad (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

today I went to Victoria's Secret to get sizd. I put the card that says my size in my pocket, then went to the movies with my boyfriend. When the person at the counter askd me to hand them my ticket, I reachd into my pocket and handd it to them. It wasn't the ticket. It was my bra size. FML

#6738638
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8376) - you deserved it (27696)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:39pm - love - by StrawberryJuicey (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, boyfriend and I were having a serious talk. He told me that I was a quick-temperd emotional train wreck. He then said, ( You know how we talkd about getting marrid? Now the only way I'd marry you was if hell froze over. ) He smild, gave me a kiss, and went to bd. FML

#6738279
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26346) - you deserved it (5926)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:56pm - love - by Trainwreck (woman) - United States (Colorado)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: