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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my boyfriend got rejected by his dream college. In an effort to comfort him, I told him that he is incredibly smart and that it's their loss. He replied, "Of course you think so, you're an idiot!" FML

#6926430
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31165) - you deserved it (4528)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:41pm - misc - by imamonster1992 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I told her best friend the plan the day before. I got reservations to a restaurant on the beach, and we were going to arrive via boat. She never showed. Her parents called me asking why she left town to go to Paris. FML

#6926336
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31671) - you deserved it (2779)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:37pm - love - by hoplessG (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to see that I had two black eyes from a cheerleading stunt gone wrong yesterday. I decided to curl my hair to distract from them. While curling my hair I accidentally burned my cheek. I now have two black eyes and a huge burn on my cheek. My extended family is coming tomorrow. FML

#6926304
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24235) - you deserved it (6750)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26956) - you deserved it (11876)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out my mom is getting rid of cable TV. My dad and I bought her a 700 dollar plasma screen TV for Christmas. FML

#6922961
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23495) - you deserved it (2889)

On 12/24/2009 at 2:45pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned just how much change a toddler can stuff in to a Nintendo Wii. I also learned that those things are put together with special screws. FML

#6919717
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23507) - you deserved it (3715)

On 12/24/2009 at 10:49am - kids - by Gameless Guy - United States

Today, I saw the girl I had confessed my love to two years ago on the bus. We chatted for a few minutes and she got off on the first stop, saying that this is where she had to get off. Twenty minutes later, I see her in the bus next to mine. The bus number was 20. Like mine. FML

#6917396
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24313) - you deserved it (4892)

On 12/24/2009 at 4:35am - love - by busrides (man) - United States (California)

Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking no one was around, I let out a series of loud, nasty-sounding farts. I looked over to my left to see the neighbor, whom I've never met, also smoking, and staring at me. That was his first impression of me. FML

#6915702
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9631) - you deserved it (30245)

On 12/24/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by FlGirl (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

#6914931
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33593) - you deserved it (2780)

On 12/24/2009 at 1:09am - love - by Nemesis2747 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I shared the story of my younger brother's unexpected death with a friend. After telling him the story, I looked at him with teary eyes and he looked back into my eyes and said "I understand how you feel. That is almost as bad as when I lost my cat last spring term." FML

#6914184
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31709) - you deserved it (3024)

On 12/24/2009 at 12:31am - animals - by Beeh (woman) - United States

Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML

#6911518
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22993) - you deserved it (2001)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Muffinhater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML

#6910234
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21698) - you deserved it (6773)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with my boyfriend of 2 years, I put on an old pair of boxers I still have from when I was heavier. He thinks I am cheating on him and doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#6908981
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20797) - you deserved it (3694)

On 12/23/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by everybodysfool (woman) - United States (Florida)



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