Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I got an e-mail from my University saying I may have violated the Student Code of Conduct for being drunk in public at a football game, and now I have to go in to defend myself against charges. My lungs filled with fluid at the game, causing me to throw up. I had to be taken away in an ambulance. FML

#6735017
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29898) - you deserved it (2389)

On 12/13/2009 at 5:12am - health - by cagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML

#6734413
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7165) - you deserved it (20833)

On 12/13/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the girl I had a crush on for the past few months called me and wanted to tell me something. Excited, I agreed and we went out to dinner. She wanted to tell me she had been secretly seeing 'someone' for the past six months. FML

#6733753
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23907) - you deserved it (3276)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:36am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finished moving cross-country and signed a 13 month lease to be closer to my on-again / off-again boyfriend of the past five years. I showed up at his place to borrow his truck just as his "local" girlfriend was leaving. FML

Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML

#6733477
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23652) - you deserved it (6112)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by soy_un_perderdor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML

#6732796
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23168) - you deserved it (21841)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:26am - health - by teeeessst (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

#6731924
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6716) - you deserved it (48313)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by eggnoodles (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML

#6731473
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23534) - you deserved it (5260)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML

#6730698
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26613) - you deserved it (3349)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:39pm - misc - by Normal (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out why two of my friends race downstairs to each other to the cafeteria everyday at lunch; apparently there's only one free seat at the table with the rest of their friends, and the loser has to eat lunch with me. FML

#6725334
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32030) - you deserved it (2662)

On 12/12/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

#6725096
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7860) - you deserved it (32744)

On 12/12/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by Icci (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss' 13 year old son. FML

#6724461
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6320) - you deserved it (43416)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by ash203 - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

#6723813
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6640) - you deserved it (37604)

On 12/12/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Washington)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: