Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML

#12903191
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27201) - you deserved it (15803)

On 09/04/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

#12899907
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34896) - you deserved it (13605)

On 09/04/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by pencilring (woman) - United States

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

#12897093
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34223) - you deserved it (3350)

On 09/04/2010 at 2:52am - misc - by Black Cat 13 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I saw a car on the side on the highway with a popped tire. The driver didn't have a spare, so I nicely gave them mine. One hour later my tire popped. FML

#12895675
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38900) - you deserved it (7731)

On 09/04/2010 at 1:15am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if you don't wrap your hair around a bristled curling iron the correct way, you end up getting it stuck, not to mention frying it. Three inches of my hair is now in the trash. FML

Today, I got fired for taking time off to see my sister in the hospital after she got in a car accident. Before I got fired, I found out my boss took time off because her horoscope said she should. FML

#12887951
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37493) - you deserved it (2526)

On 09/03/2010 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML

#12887848
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18750) - you deserved it (38563)

On 09/03/2010 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

#12887269
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31519) - you deserved it (6787)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got the haircut I've been wanting for ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years and asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me and then invited me to her house for dinner. I'm scared to go. FML

#12887247
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34220) - you deserved it (5923)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:56pm - love - by Fmylife.25 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML

#12880728
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12644) - you deserved it (29985)

On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with home made signs all day campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me asking me if she was high. FML

#12880726
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27458) - you deserved it (3840)

On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by AnnaWusHere - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a volleyball game against our rivals. I hit myself in the face with the ball 3 times, fell flat on my face against the court, and later had an asthma attack with no inhaler in sight. We lost the game. FML

#12879741
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27153) - you deserved it (6499)

On 09/03/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

#12879183
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34376) - you deserved it (4878)

On 09/03/2010 at 12:35am - kids - by Devon - United States (Oklahoma)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: