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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was checking the Facebook event page to see who is attending the party I am having this weekend, since my parents are going out of town. 1 person has confirmed. My mom. FML

#8052181
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8611) - you deserved it (33163)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by fbcaught (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I returned home to my girlfriend after being away for 6 weeks of work. I decided to take a shower and change before having a nice dinner with her. Without looking I grabbed a random pair of jeans from my closet to put on. They were Levis. I don't own or wear any Levis. FML

#8048706
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36062) - you deserved it (2713)

On 02/09/2010 at 10:43am - love - by safariboo - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet. And then fling it at me. FML

#8047557
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26153) - you deserved it (5921)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:56am - health - by caitplaysguitar (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

#8042799
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29750) - you deserved it (4037)

On 02/09/2010 at 3:19am - kids - by matchristityler (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told my hamster he loved her. Repeatedly. In 'cute' baby voices. He has yet to tell me. FML

#8039687
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22269) - you deserved it (5251)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, in art class, I tried to attract my crush's attention by slowly sitting down in front of him. Too bad I missed the chair and fell onto the floor. FML

#8038952
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8607) - you deserved it (30122)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:50am - love - by Unknown (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I've picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML

#8038027
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25120) - you deserved it (2671)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by wurtabang - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got called out of class to talk to some cops. Turns out my car was involved in a hit and run accident, while I was in school and there was no possible way it could have been me. But since they have no one else, it's my fault. FML

#8031380
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31707) - you deserved it (1960)

On 02/08/2010 at 10:29pm - misc - by sweeeeet (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend of six months dumped me for his girlfriend on Grand Theft Auto because he was "tired of having to please two women at once." FML

#8026904
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30424) - you deserved it (3637)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

#8021510
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38018) - you deserved it (2730)

On 02/08/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by disasterbutton (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that the necklace my boyfriend gave me for my birthday was actually a gift he'd given to his ex girlfriend. FML

#8013959
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25934) - you deserved it (2603)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:24pm - love - by Chrissy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML

#8013875
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12342) - you deserved it (51643)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by christian9294 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML

#8012702
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6441) - you deserved it (44520)

On 02/08/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Tucker (man) - United States (Arizona)



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