Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

#6976804
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26603) - you deserved it (3251)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

#6976718
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21562) - you deserved it (12618)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:25pm - misc - by xMiSS_CuTiEx (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML

#6976652
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6074) - you deserved it (47482)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by LaurenLehmmman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

#6975608
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33191) - you deserved it (5102)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12329) - you deserved it (25348)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized the closest person I have to a friend is the debt collector who calls me every day. FML

#6970939
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29301) - you deserved it (6185)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by kanenakid - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking to the bus stop. I saw a chunk of ice and attempted to kick it. Sadly it was frozen to the ground, so I fell, broke my toe, and missed the bus. Even the bus driver was laughing as he drove by. FML

#6969489
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11794) - you deserved it (26723)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by Icy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend wrote 50 dollars on my gift card just to look generous, it's really only worth five. I found this out after I tried to buy an arm full of clothes. FML

#6969342
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32283) - you deserved it (2647)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:34am - money - by Cheap (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

#6968150
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29451) - you deserved it (3645)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38925) - you deserved it (4135)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States

Today, Facebook told me I should reconnect with my husband. FML

#6967359
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29863) - you deserved it (7261)

On 12/27/2009 at 1:30am - love - by reconnect (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents bought me an alarm clock that runs away from you while beeping obnoxiously when you hit snooze. I just had ankle surgery and am unable to walk. FML

#6966351
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29640) - you deserved it (2566)

On 12/27/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Crippled (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML

#6965324
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22896) - you deserved it (10611)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:44pm - love - by Kelly (woman) - United States (California)



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