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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was at ATandT getting my phone fixed. At one point, the salesman said 'you should see this'. It was a text message from some girl apologizing for sleeping with my boyfriend for the past four months, and telling me that they were moving him out of our apartment. FML

#5998375
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31906) - you deserved it (1781)

On 10/25/2009 at 10:00pm - love - by LTJFP (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I searched myself on Facebook. I have a fan page made by some girl in Wisconsin. She has pictures of me on it. Can you say stalker? FML

#5996462
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34187) - you deserved it (4408)

On 10/25/2009 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a girl I've liked for several years gave me her number. Finally, I worked up the courage to call her. It was a suicide help line. FML

#5993337
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41914) - you deserved it (3370)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:48pm - love - by Kin (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year broke up with me. Completely crushed, I spent an hour gathering up everything he ever gave me. Then he calls back to say how stupid he was and how he wanted me back. I was ecstatic. An hour later he figured out he was okay with his first decision. FML

#5992149
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38777) - you deserved it (4077)

On 10/25/2009 at 3:19pm - love - by rollercoaster (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

#5991629
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37427) - you deserved it (9923)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by roadbikemama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

#5991495
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30824) - you deserved it (3648)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML

#5990692
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11679) - you deserved it (68293)

On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the hall from the livingroom. I overheard my mom telling someone how proud she was of her baby girl and how much she loved her. I thought she was referring to my first ever all "A" report card. Turns out my new kitten used its litter box correctly for the first time. FML

#5990004
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25624) - you deserved it (3047)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my son told me he lost the envelope with all the money he earned selling Cub Scout popcorn. The popcorn was delivered already, and the money needs to be turned in to the pack leader tonight. I just spent $220 on popcorn my neighbors are eating. FML

#5989748
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26994) - you deserved it (4943)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:44am - misc - by ifyouseekmylife (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my crush finally let me drive his truck for the first time in a empty parking lot, after he told me he liked me. It was so dark that I ended up driving into and pole and totaled his car. Now he hates me. FML

#5989698
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8421) - you deserved it (37323)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by madd_dizzle (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. My speedometer got busted a few weeks back, rendering it useless. My father, a former mechanic, decided it's not worth the trouble of going in and fixing it. "Just keep with traffic when you're on the highway; you'll be fine." This $150 fee says otherwise. FML

#5987696
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11308) - you deserved it (24733)

On 10/25/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by ZThirteen (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my cousin and I were out on the boardwalk. I walked to the railing next to a man and said, "Great view isn't it?" Then I found out that the man was blind and had a seeing eye dog. FML

#5981900
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25199) - you deserved it (9485)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by RC (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML

#5980515
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9130) - you deserved it (30790)

On 10/24/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Clutz (woman) - United States (New York)



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