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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my brother's home for his annual visit, lectures my parents once about their eating habits. They promptly throw away all of their junk food. I'm there every Sunday, and have been telling them to eat healthier for medical reasons. They never listen. He's in sales, and I'm in med school. FML

#8195663
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23718) - you deserved it (2708)

On 02/13/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I switched cell phone carriers and got the plan where you can call or text any five people for free. The employee asked for my five, I could only come up with one, my mom. FML

#8193962
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24401) - you deserved it (4673)

On 02/13/2010 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

#8191025
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32329) - you deserved it (2637)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:48am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML

#8189417
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22502) - you deserved it (6532)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by Chris - United States (California)

Today, I caught my boyfriend of 8 years cheating on me. I punched him in the face, he broke up with me. And I still had to cook him an entire turkey dinner. FML

#8185131
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11706) - you deserved it (37008)

On 02/12/2010 at 10:30pm - love - by Pushover (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

#8180539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21323) - you deserved it (3232)

On 02/12/2010 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by rashree (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was fired from my job. Why? Because my boss has been dating my newly divorced mother, and he didn't want family get-togethers to be "awkward." FML

#8177563
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25805) - you deserved it (1549)

On 02/12/2010 at 7:22pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was riding the bus. Suddenly, it appeared to start to snow inside the bus, and I assumed a window was open. When I looked up however, I discovered the girl in front of me putting her hair up in a ponytail. The so-called "snow" was coming off of her head. FML

#8176848
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26597) - you deserved it (1821)

On 02/12/2010 at 7:04pm - misc - by ummmmEW - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a rose from my boyfriend. The card read "it's over". FML

#8170663
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29437) - you deserved it (2453)

On 02/12/2010 at 3:19pm - love - by blacklove (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML

#8169467
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25203) - you deserved it (4484)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:34pm - health - by justmyluck - United States

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

#8169403
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21184) - you deserved it (2979)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

#8169193
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (19467)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm - misc - by RaceCar (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realized I can never live with my fiancée. A childhood of systematic teasing, abuse, and humiliation has made me terrified to use a bathroom around a guy if there's the slightest chance I can be heard, seen, or even have anyone know what I'm up to. Therapy has yet to fix anything. FML

#8164087
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27823) - you deserved it (4834)

On 02/12/2010 at 10:23am - love - by silentsuzie (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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