Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56850) - you deserved it (2069)
On 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my cell phone broke. It wouldn't even turn on. I went online to access my account so that I could order a new phone. I couldn't remember my password. The phone company had an option of "forgot my password". Upon clicking I get a message saying "Your password will be sent to your phone". FML
I agree, your life sucks (52231) - you deserved it (4345)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by nhanley1 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8670) - you deserved it (92720)
On 04/02/2009 at 9:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. 5 seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the happy sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51781) - you deserved it (22411)
On 04/02/2009 at 6:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got laid off from work. I was being escorted to the elevator when another coworker stepped inside. He said, "How goes it?". I said, "It goes". Then he said, "At least we have a job". FML
I agree, your life sucks (58159) - you deserved it (2389)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by Dude - United States (California)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199754) - you deserved it (58906)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed "How did you know I had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me, and drove off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72418) - you deserved it (4676)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:09am - work - by olalala2382 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21722) - you deserved it (42951)
On 04/02/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, for april fools day, my entire class decided to prank our religion teacher. During our daily meditation time, while his eyes were closed, we slowly got out of our seats and left the classroom. Two minutes later he opened his eyes, locked us out, and called the dean to give us all detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15111) - you deserved it (63559)
On 04/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by aprilfooled (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as a joke, my friends plastic wrapped me to my bed while I was sleeping, I had an allergic reaction to the plastic and had to have the girl I like come cut me out and give me my meds. I sleep naked and was unable to put on clothes during this time. She saw me naked, swollen and with hives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69083) - you deserved it (4438)
On 04/01/2009 at 10:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6607) - you deserved it (79437)
On 04/01/2009 at 10:36pm - misc - by lisa321 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I bitched out my grandmother, who lives with my family, for being lazy and laying in bed until 6-7pm for the past month. When I was done, she told me she had been diagnosed with cancer and was depressed because of it. Nobody had bothered to tell me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21058) - you deserved it (70192)
On 04/01/2009 at 9:17pm - misc - by Casino (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was playing in a basketball game and blocked this kid's shot. I was really pumped up about it until I realized the kid had cerebral palsy and the coach put him on the team because he really wanted to be on at least one team in his life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24460) - you deserved it (38788)
On 04/01/2009 at 8:36pm - misc - by jalapenos99 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Friday 24 May 2013
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