Today, my little sister got mad at me because I wouldn't let her read my IM conversation. I took a nap and when I woke up, my laptop was gone. She took it on a trip to her grandparents' house, six hours away. Nude pictures of me and my paper due tomorrow are on the laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52910) - you deserved it (21969)
On 03/31/2009 at 1:32am - kids - by somerandomchick (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I overheard a conversation two of my friends were having about Homer, so I interjected with a quip about a Simpson's episode I had seen before. They were talking about the poet. I'm an AP literature student. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10096) - you deserved it (60172)
On 03/31/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by apenglishstudent (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21067) - you deserved it (76192)
On 03/31/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Alex (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML
I agree, your life sucks (87953) - you deserved it (3785)
On 03/30/2009 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84783) - you deserved it (11959)
On 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by lucky (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (91631) - you deserved it (5802)
On 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47384) - you deserved it (12774)
On 03/30/2009 at 5:44pm - misc - by talkssuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, the girl I've had a crush on forever asked me why the pin on my Letterman jacket had two guys doing it. I told her it was for participating in a wrestling tournament. And she responded, "Oh I thought you were finally coming out of the closet!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51819) - you deserved it (5075)
On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by Seanzy (man) - United States (California)
Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell". FML
I agree, your life sucks (150720) - you deserved it (21682)
On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by jdsksoapy (woman) - United States
Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70024) - you deserved it (11492)
On 03/30/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Tiak (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57835) - you deserved it (3723)
On 03/30/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by androgynous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a mother wrote me a $130 check for babysitting her four kids for a few hours. Trying to be gracious, I said, "Wow, thank you, this is very generous!" She thought for a minute, then said, "You're right." She took the check back, ripped it up, and wrote me a new one for $55. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65844) - you deserved it (22153)
On 03/30/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at my boyfriends house and we were having sex. He has a game on in the background and one of his friends started talking to him. He immediately threw me off and said "I have to answer this." He went over to his computer and started talking to them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66195) - you deserved it (6226)
On 03/30/2009 at 5:06am - intimacy - by budussy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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