Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML

#13103525
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31562) - you deserved it (8753)

On 09/18/2010 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after selling some furniture and jewelry to make the rent this month, I woke up to find a foreclosure notice. The landlord hasn't paid the mortgage in 6 months, so I'm evicted anyway. FML

#13097253
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32473) - you deserved it (2158)

On 09/18/2010 at 10:27am - money - by streeted - United States

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

#13094765
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32696) - you deserved it (2782)

On 09/18/2010 at 2:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after weeks of allowing my parents to borrow money, I got a check for $2000. I took it to the bank only to find out it was fake. FML

#13094289
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30399) - you deserved it (3212)

On 09/18/2010 at 1:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the cause of the recent pain in my chest was that I had a torn muscle. What caused this? I sneezed. FML

#13093344
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27383) - you deserved it (3163)

On 09/18/2010 at 12:21am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML

#13091874
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22885) - you deserved it (9191)

On 09/17/2010 at 10:34pm - misc - by muffins69 (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I attended a job fair for a position at a shop. I was the only one who showed and submitted an application. I didn't get the job. FML

#13090304
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25761) - you deserved it (3046)

On 09/17/2010 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

#13087587
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26294) - you deserved it (7071)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by huwauw (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML

#13083989
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32415) - you deserved it (3346)

On 09/17/2010 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

#13083342
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27060) - you deserved it (7143)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was waiting for my boyfriend who evidently stood me up. I waited so long, the security came up and asked me to leave, because I was scaring the staff. FML

#13081753
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30025) - you deserved it (3704)

On 09/17/2010 at 12:43am - love - by anime_love - United States

Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

#13079046
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38214) - you deserved it (3533)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by ccblock (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of three years decided it was finally time to have sex. After we did, he told me that he was sleeping with another girl. He wanted to have sex with me to see who was better. FML

#13078178
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46671) - you deserved it (6014)

On 09/16/2010 at 8:35pm - intimacy - by Laura - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: