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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was turned down for a job as a cashier at Best Buy. I worked like hell to get into and then graduate from one of the top Telecommunication schools in the country. I spent all my time with extracurriculars to help my resume instead of partying like my friends. I can't even be a cashier. FML

#6228349
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30497) - you deserved it (3710)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable showerhead. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, 'You too?' FML

#6223689
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7677) - you deserved it (20208)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by ShowerheadGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had just finished writing an essay for English. I was proud of it and thought it was one of my best works. I decided to show it to my mom, who is an English major. She read it, turned to me and said, "You know, if you actually want to go to UCLA, you're going to need to actually try." FML

#6223304
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25785) - you deserved it (4040)

On 11/09/2009 at 1:33am - misc - by Abr829 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML

#6222787
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35522) - you deserved it (4440)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by miseventshappen - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

#6222212
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25991) - you deserved it (4691)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:05am - love - by alltern8ive (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML

#6221644
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25749) - you deserved it (2787)

On 11/08/2009 at 11:37pm - kids - by itsjustmyluck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML

#6221127
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28744) - you deserved it (2484)

On 11/08/2009 at 11:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML

#6217928
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38099) - you deserved it (2188)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:27pm - love - by toughlove (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML

#6217661
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8784) - you deserved it (43862)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:08pm - kids - by Dan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML

#6217069
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39966) - you deserved it (3908)

On 11/08/2009 at 7:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over." FML

#6211757
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19076) - you deserved it (2887)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by peacexout108 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

#6211004
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23727) - you deserved it (7251)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74015) - you deserved it (5833)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States



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