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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

#13041055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25847) - you deserved it (3224)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by IHateMyJob - United States

Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML

#13038622
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26324) - you deserved it (6163)

On 09/13/2010 at 7:40pm - work - by Drunk - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was telling my friend about how my boyfriend never does anything nice for me. Confused, she replied, "That's odd, he's always doing nice things for me." FML

#13037540
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39142) - you deserved it (4195)

On 09/13/2010 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML

#13036561
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23730) - you deserved it (12454)

On 09/13/2010 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

#13034308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27429) - you deserved it (2766)

On 09/13/2010 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at the DMV getting temporary tags for my new car. While waiting in line, a huge fat lady behind me felt the need to run her finger down the scar on the back of my neck. FML

#13033925
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36677) - you deserved it (2942)

On 09/13/2010 at 11:14am - misc - by dmvsucks (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my husband won't talk to me because he got mad when I asked him what he thought about 'that lame performance last night'. He doesn't believe that I really was talking about football. FML

#13033071
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30494) - you deserved it (8104)

On 09/13/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by GonnaBeLonley2night - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

#13027296
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41659) - you deserved it (6041)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was asked to crawl through a sun roof because one of my co workers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sun roof. To laughter. FML

#13024683
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7750) - you deserved it (40632)

On 09/12/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML

#13019644
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28288) - you deserved it (9973)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the man who came into work yesterday, the man who tried to grope me from over the counter, the one who spat his drink in my face, the one who kicked me in the shins when he didn't like the way his food tasted, is a regular and I can expect him three times a week. FML

#13019582
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31780) - you deserved it (2330)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:52pm - work - by yeahno (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I filed a missing persons report on my boyfriend. He was out fishing and then was supposed to meet me for a romantic weekend getaway. He never showed up and didn't respond to my texts. I found out, courtesy of a voicemail from the sheriff's department, that he'd broken up with me. FML

#13013607
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36388) - you deserved it (4777)

On 09/12/2010 at 1:22am - love - by stood-up (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I noticed I give myself pep-talks when I'm lonely. FML

#13010749
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24478) - you deserved it (5779)

On 09/11/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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