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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

#7835541
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30522) - you deserved it (3325)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:11am - money - by olyswimmer (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was 2, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML

#7835158
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32004) - you deserved it (2714)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:03am - animals - by Brittany (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after almost nine months of doing anything and everything to show my love for my girlfriend and make her happy, she told me she would give "anything" to relive the one week of her and her ex's relationship where she was the happiest in her life. FML

#7831807
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27039) - you deserved it (3053)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:52pm - love - by redjesus69 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was on Craigslist looking for a new guitar. I found the diamond earrings and necklace set I gave to my girlfriend last year. She wants 50 bucks for them. FML

#7821879
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (2301)

On 02/02/2010 at 7:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

#7821444
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20490) - you deserved it (5201)

On 02/02/2010 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

#7816615
490 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49684) - you deserved it (37962)

On 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm - kids - by fuckmylife (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend to the beach. It was raining so we left our shoes and phones in the car so we wouldn't be bothered. Apparently, I left my keys in the car too. The car was locked. FML

#7812980
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8394) - you deserved it (23762)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Forgetfull (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got another email from Amazon asking me how I like my new Kindle. I don't have a Kindle. It's the one I bought my ex for Christmas, right before she left me while I was deployed overseas. FML

#7811956
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28440) - you deserved it (2440)

On 02/02/2010 at 11:00am - misc - by tony1401 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

#7811688
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31874) - you deserved it (2631)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that I owe the IRS money due to my previous job not taking enough taxes out. I am broke, unemployed, and was counting on a big refund so I could pay for my divorce. FML

#7810009
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29486) - you deserved it (4565)

On 02/02/2010 at 8:00am - money - by taxed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. This was after I saved several paychecks to afford to give her a weekend away for her birthday. Why did she end things so quick? Because apparently I'm balding faster than her Dad. I'm 20. FML

#7806645
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29374) - you deserved it (2399)

On 02/02/2010 at 2:34am - love - by BaldingQuick (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I made a friend on an online chat. We got along fairly well and even traded Facebook accounts. I found out that the two of us had a lot of very surprising things in common. We were the same age, we were from the same school, and we even had the same boyfriend. FML

#7805682
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37245) - you deserved it (3000)

On 02/02/2010 at 1:57am - misc - by Zephyric - United States (California)



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