Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21594) - you deserved it (48828)
On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32947) - you deserved it (67768)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52862) - you deserved it (7569)
On 04/04/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34431) - you deserved it (21195)
On 04/04/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by driverman12 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my mother and I went to lunch and there is a really cute waiter that works at the diner. I requested him to wait on us like I sometimes do. While we were waiting to be seated, I heard one waiter say to the cute one, "Ya, the creepy one is back, and this time she brought her mom!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15767) - you deserved it (58244)
On 04/04/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by bezoar10 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I “got the fuck out.” FML
I agree, your life sucks (28105) - you deserved it (124610)
On 04/04/2009 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74426) - you deserved it (2889)
On 04/04/2009 at 3:03pm - work - by Lifeguard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (228059) - you deserved it (13779)
On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13654) - you deserved it (109137)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt - United States (New York)
Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11446) - you deserved it (145104)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by ashleyevans (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. The girl I met last night came in and said "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school and was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9646) - you deserved it (119850)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Jamie (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was fixing my makeup in the back room of the office when my boss walked in. He looked kind of annoyed so I jokingly said "Don't you want your secretary to look good?" He said, "If I did I wouldn't have hired you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49853) - you deserved it (9097)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85619) - you deserved it (6733)
On 04/04/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by vetapplez (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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