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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today... I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML

#6910234
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21677) - you deserved it (6771)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with mah boyfriend of 2 yeres, I putted on an old pair of boxers I still have fromhen I was heavier. He thinks I am cheating on him an doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#6908981
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20768) - you deserved it (3690)

On 12/23/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by everybodysfool (woman) - United States (Florida)

TODAY I WAS TELLING MY ENTIRE COCKTAIL PARTY ABOUT THE TIME I ACCIDENTALLY FLASHED MY VOLLEYBALL TEAM AT A POOL PARTY. WHILE TRYING TO DEMONSTRATE HOW IT HAPPENED I ACCIDENTALLY PULLED MY DRESS DOWN AN FLASHED EVERYONE AGAIN. FML

#6904777
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7216) - you deserved it (41415)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today I was in the bus on mah way home. I was reading a book and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. mega looool FML

#6903052
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (2212)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:56pm - misc - by fml_forever32 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto mah desk. My phone rang so I answered mah coffee, spilling it all over mah face an body. FML

#6902851
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10989) - you deserved it (24394)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

2day I found outhara my $300 worth of Amarican Eagla and Hollistar clothas had disappaarad to. My 16 yaar old sistar shraddad tham with scissors, took picturas of it fir har Myspaca and said that I dasarvad it fir baing a "conformist." All har "intarnat friands" said it was awasoma.

#6901032
443 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34646) - you deserved it (11270)

On 12/23/2009 at 11:05am - kids - by meep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

TODAY, I GOT MAH REPORT CARD FROM SCHOOL. I PULLD MAH GRADE UP IN ALGEBRA FROM A D TO AN A. MY PARENTS TOLD ME THAT THEY NEVER EXPECTD ME TO ACCOMPLISH THIS, AND GOOD JOB BUT THEY'VE ALREADY ENROLLD ME IN BOARDING SCHOOL. SO MUCH FOR ALL THAT EXTRA CREDIT AND STAYING LATE AFTER SCHOOL TO STUDY. FML

#6900701
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28445) - you deserved it (3042)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by bee (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today , after spending te past 4 days asking bot my usband and my fater-in-law to salt our sidewalk , I slipped on te ice. I it my ead on our concrete stairs. Wile olding ice on my ead , my fater-in-law pats my ead and says ( I'll go get some salt. ) real FML

#6900019
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23135) - you deserved it (8078)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:30am - health - by SnowyConcussion (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today... I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I trid to get off at the exit... it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showd up... the party was already over... so I endd up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML

#6898693
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (4124)

On 12/23/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by BeautifulDisastre (woman) - United States (California)

Today , the elderly couple next door asked me to cut down a tree in there yard. It turns out they told me to cut down the wrong tree , an I cut down the tree they got married under. They now hate me an tell me they plan to sue me fir damage to property. FML

#6897944
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32631) - you deserved it (3642)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:46am - work - by jordigs (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today , a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me , so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow . We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up . The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor . FML

#6896852
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11175) - you deserved it (62674)

On 12/23/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by lois2lane (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, Mah Mom And I Were Going To The Store . I Decided To Stay In The Car While She Went In . In The Car Next To Me, There Was A Dog In The Driver's Seat Barking At Me . Bored, I Barked Back At It Until I Realized There Was Someone In The Passenger's Seat Watching Me . FML

#6896062
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8552) - you deserved it (31673)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today I was trying to read a book 4 school but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML

#6894688
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24432) - you deserved it (5278)

On 12/23/2009 at 12:05am - animals - by sleepy (man) - United States (California)



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