Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, it is my three-year-anniversary with my boyfriend. I asked if he had planned anything for us, and he said yes. My parents volunteered to watch our daughter, I got all excited, and apparently our "plans" are to watch a football game. What do I get to do? Make sandwiches. For him. FML

#5484515
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32963) - you deserved it (7743)

On 09/26/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Amberizzle (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had my first day off in weeks. I was excited about getting to sleep in, until my boss called me at 6:30 in the morning to remind me I didn't have to come into work. Thanks. FML

#5482829
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35034) - you deserved it (2791)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by NoSleep (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

#5482819
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32571) - you deserved it (2857)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, an old friend that I never really liked invited me to lunch while she was in town. While driving back to her car, I couldn't find my phone, so she offered to call it. She found it under the passenger seat and also saw that when she called, her name came up as "Sabrina-IGNORE". FML

#5480779
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7035) - you deserved it (56263)

On 09/26/2009 at 4:05am - misc - by veggocake (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I called my boss to let her know that I was suffering from severe depression and that my doctor suggested I take a month's leave. Her response: "Glad you are getting help, however we can't hold your job. No need to come to the office, we'll mail your stuff to you." FML

#5480161
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33923) - you deserved it (5576)

On 09/26/2009 at 3:01am - work - by zawbentley - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, there was a traffic accident on the highway which I normally take. I couldn't resist laughing at the driver since he was stupid enough to rear-end someone on the highway. What I didn't realize is that I forgot to pay attention to the road and rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#5479832
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4620) - you deserved it (66847)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by scarlet5000 (man) - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend of 9 months that I was ready for marriage and start having kids. She hasn't called or texted me since. FML

#5479094
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15269) - you deserved it (60653)

On 09/26/2009 at 1:34am - love - by bigdawg702 (man) - United States

Today, my football team played in a game against our rival school that was just a few blocks away. We hadn't lost the game in exactly 49 years, we were playing for the 50th year win. We lost 63-0, and got booed off the field by our own crowd. FML

#5478797
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18097) - you deserved it (33495)

On 09/26/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Fmycar - United States (California)

Today, waiting for the bus, this creepy guy in the terminal kept staring at me. Feeling creeped out, I started walking, knowing I could pick up the bus down the street. When the bus drove up, it was almost completely full and the only open seat was next to the creepy dude from the bus station. FML

Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

#5477011
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27284) - you deserved it (17193)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:47pm - health - by snottyface (woman) - United States

Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML

#5476343
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40033) - you deserved it (3004)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the restroom at school and when I finished my business, I noticed there was no toilet paper. I then began to wait hoping that a janitor would come by with extra toilet paper. It wasn't until an hour later that I then realized there was 4 extra rolls hidden behind the toilet. FML

#5470398
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8929) - you deserved it (48336)

On 09/25/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by MyLyfeSux (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, we got our progress reports. My physics teacher wrote that I don't participate in class. My mom got mad and grounded me before I could tell her that I raise my hand in class all the time but my teacher won't call on me cause he can't pronounce my name. FML

#5466683
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42800) - you deserved it (2755)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Non-active (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: