Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend of 8 years cheating on me. I punched him in the face, he broke up with me. And I still had to cook him an entire turkey dinner. FML

#8185131
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11696) - you deserved it (36989)

On 02/12/2010 at 10:30pm - love - by Pushover (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

#8180539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21304) - you deserved it (3230)

On 02/12/2010 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by rashree (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was fired from my job. Why? Because my boss has been dating my newly divorced mother, and he didn't want family get-togethers to be "awkward." FML

#8177563
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25788) - you deserved it (1549)

On 02/12/2010 at 7:22pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was riding the bus. Suddenly, it appeared to start to snow inside the bus, and I assumed a window was open. When I looked up however, I discovered the girl in front of me putting her hair up in a ponytail. The so-called "snow" was coming off of her head. FML

#8176848
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26580) - you deserved it (1820)

On 02/12/2010 at 7:04pm - misc - by ummmmEW - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a rose from my boyfriend. The card read "it's over". FML

#8170663
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29417) - you deserved it (2453)

On 02/12/2010 at 3:19pm - love - by blacklove (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML

#8169467
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25185) - you deserved it (4481)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:34pm - health - by justmyluck - United States

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

#8169403
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21168) - you deserved it (2978)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

#8169193
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22936) - you deserved it (19459)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm - misc - by RaceCar (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realized I can never live with my fiancée. A childhood of systematic teasing, abuse, and humiliation has made me terrified to use a bathroom around a guy if there's the slightest chance I can be heard, seen, or even have anyone know what I'm up to. Therapy has yet to fix anything. FML

#8164087
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27794) - you deserved it (4834)

On 02/12/2010 at 10:23am - love - by silentsuzie (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, the day of my 29th birthday and two weeks after our 10th wedding anniversary, the only thing my husband got me for my birthday was divorce papers. Happy birthday, bitch. FML

#8159042
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32086) - you deserved it (4566)

On 02/12/2010 at 3:41am - love - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML

#8156006
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18767) - you deserved it (3652)

On 02/12/2010 at 1:20am - health - by a - United States (Maryland)

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24388) - you deserved it (3485)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating is heavily into a mystical card game and spends all of his money going to "Magic" card conventions across the country. FML

#8153164
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11090) - you deserved it (24102)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:03am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: