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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, while at the dog park, I suddenly had to use the bathroom really badly. Since there weren't any facilities nearby, I decided to go behind a tree and relieve myself there. While doing this, two other owners, one that's in my math class, noticed me, regardless of me hiding. She definitely saw everything. School will be fun tomorrow. FML

#9001360
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9101) - you deserved it (24207)

On 03/11/2010 at 5:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I became that small percent of people who face three different kinds of complications after their wisdom teeth are removed. FML

#9000843
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25561) - you deserved it (1976)

On 03/11/2010 at 5:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom told me she can't wait for me to turn eighteen so she can turn my room into a place for her to display all her antique glass dolls. FML

#8999294
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23062) - you deserved it (2323)

On 03/11/2010 at 4:07pm - misc - by heartless (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my art project, the one I've been working on for the last two weeks and the first piece I felt really comfortable about turning in, was stolen out of the art cupboard. FML

#8997978
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22191) - you deserved it (1773)

On 03/11/2010 at 2:55pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my husband that after fifteen years of marriage, I wanted a divorce. His first question was whether or not he could still go on the family cruise my parents are paying for in May. FML

#8995755
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22827) - you deserved it (9795)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:13pm - love - by danikka1 - United States

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23013) - you deserved it (3343)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

#8993130
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17822) - you deserved it (4203)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:50am - intimacy - by StretchNuts - United States

Today, it's the third anniversary of when I started looking for a new job. I'm still working at the job that made me want to get a new one and I haven't even had an interview for another one in almost two years. My Master's degree on the wall is looking more and more like a roll of toilet paper. FML

#8990477
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24157) - you deserved it (3310)

On 03/11/2010 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML

#8989012
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22467) - you deserved it (2527)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by stuckathome (man) - United States

Today, I found out the electric bill I have been paying was on my old house. I found this out when they shut off the power to my house. FML

#8988720
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14089) - you deserved it (18506)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:18am - money - by secret - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was applying some acne ointment. The directions said, "Apply a thin layer, covering the entire affected area." In other words, for me: My entire face. Lovely. FML

#8988436
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21763) - you deserved it (3801)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got a call from a police department saying that if I didn't move my car from a store's parking lot within the next 15 minutes, they were going to tow it and charge me for the fee. I was at work and the reason I parked it there is because it started smoking and almost caught fire. FML

#8984403
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20120) - you deserved it (4532)

On 03/10/2010 at 10:03pm - misc - by ohemgee (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after uprooting my life to help my boyfriend, I realized I receive more affection from my landlord's dog than I have from my boyfriend since I've moved here. FML

#8983847
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18740) - you deserved it (3784)

On 03/10/2010 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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