FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML

by Keith walk / 02/12/2011 at 12:59am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I thought it would be fun to drive into a stack of some empty cardboard boxes on my street. They weren't empty. FML

by 2dumb2drive / 02/11/2011 at 11:06pm / United States / Transportation

Today, after informing my boss I needed stress leave from my 70 hour a week shifts, I got my new work assignment. Sixty hours a week starting at 2am. FML

by NotAMorningPerson / 02/11/2011 at 11:02pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my mom left me at home with a babysitter. I'm 17. FML

by allgrowedup / 02/11/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, in an effort to make new friends in my history class, I sat in the empty seat next to a friendly-looking guy. He got up, walked away, and sat down in a different seat. FML

by loner / 02/11/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went to get a facial. I forgot my contact case so I put them into paper cup. My beautician thought it was leftover water from someone else, and threw my only pair of vision aid away. I scuttled home half blind. FML

by blinded / 02/11/2011 at 11:14am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2011 at 10:46am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, my mom took away my medication. She's afraid I'll get "hooked". The medication is anti-anxiety pills. I have horrible anxiety attacks that sometimes cause me to scratch my arms until they bleed. FML

by Eres / 02/11/2011 at 2:04am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2011 at 6:32pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML

by acab93 / 02/10/2011 at 5:37pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous