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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML

#5820033
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8273) - you deserved it (39520)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I finished moving to my new apartment that is 45 minutes away from my old one because my workplace would be closer. I then get a phone call from my boss telling me that he will transfer me to another workplace (closer to my old apartment). FML

#5815195
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26428) - you deserved it (1984)

On 10/13/2009 at 12:00pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. My spare keys are 45 minutes away in my dorm room. My dorm room keys are attached to my car keys locked in my car. Security said they would let me in as long as I had my school ID. It's on my keychain. FML

#5815091
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25940) - you deserved it (6842)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML

#5815085
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31253) - you deserved it (3373)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:52am - love - by dudezilla (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that I owed my school $0.20. They decided to charge me a late fee of $20 for deferring the intial payment. FML

#5814625
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24922) - you deserved it (3466)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:04am - money - by latepayer (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML

#5813153
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31157) - you deserved it (2479)

On 10/13/2009 at 7:07am - love - by quietsleeper (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML

#5811757
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36442) - you deserved it (3180)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by IMayBeAFool (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a mental break down. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was "I think we were better off as friends." FML

#5810614
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30061) - you deserved it (4779)

On 10/13/2009 at 1:01am - love - by Schmolly (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom put a candle on in the living room. She told the family "how much she loved it!" My mom then went on the tell us that my dad got it for her and it must have been some cheap candle. I bought the candle as a gift for her on her birthday. Thanks mom. FML

#5808379
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21716) - you deserved it (2612)

On 10/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML

#5806197
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11984) - you deserved it (20916)

On 10/12/2009 at 9:44pm - animals - by catgirl911 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML

#5802914
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39917) - you deserved it (1865)

On 10/12/2009 at 7:32pm - money - by thafinest (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

#5799559
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30649) - you deserved it (4355)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was carrying several bags of groceries up the stairs to my 3rd story apartment when I saw a giant rat climbing down the wall towards me. I screamed and dropped my groceries, which went over the rail and landed on the bottom floor, destroying them all. The rat? Just a big leaf. FML

#5798950
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9374) - you deserved it (31039)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:19pm - misc - by n_london (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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