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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I got a package in the mail from my girlfriend. I was really excited until I realized that it was just a box full things that I gave to her. FML

#9020245
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25806) - you deserved it (2123)

On 03/12/2010 at 10:06am - love - by steakysteak (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dog managed to get into our cabinet and eat an entire bag of hershey kisses. Now she is puking all over the house and outside too. When I called the vet to tell her about it, she said that it was normal, and to call her back when it was "coming out the other end." FML

#9018544
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18435) - you deserved it (3323)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:01am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

#9016591
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5488) - you deserved it (28478)

On 03/12/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by LXA429 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was called gorgeous for the first time in 4 years. By a robot. A female robot. Who was trying to sell me cosmetics. FML

#9015781
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22623) - you deserved it (2662)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by gorgeousgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

#9015230
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31482) - you deserved it (3364)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. When I told the man that I wanted Tinkerbell on my lower back area. He snorted and told me that I was way too old to have Tinkerbell on me, and that Disney characters are only cute on people 35 and younger. I'm 23. FML

#9011499
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26494) - you deserved it (12551)

On 03/11/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I thought a pipe was going to burst in my shower because it was making such a loud rumbling so I called my boyfriend freaking out telling him I didnt know what to do. After taking a second to look a little harder, I realized it was my vibrating razor against the shower wall. FML

#9008016
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4946) - you deserved it (23663)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a strong feeling that someone was watching me as I was undressing to get ready for bed. I conspicuously moved to the door and threw it open to find my step-brother clearly spying on me. We are the same age, live in the same house three weeks a month and in the same English class. FML

#9006202
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29883) - you deserved it (2483)

On 03/11/2010 at 8:18pm - misc - by meowtickmeow - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

#9004335
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24977) - you deserved it (2214)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by dreadedmafia86 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML

#9001773
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23220) - you deserved it (2038)

On 03/11/2010 at 6:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at the dog park, I suddenly had to use the bathroom really badly. Since there weren't any facilities nearby, I decided to go behind a tree and relieve myself there. While doing this, two other owners, one that's in my math class, noticed me, regardless of me hiding. She definitely saw everything. School will be fun tomorrow. FML

#9001360
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9101) - you deserved it (24205)

On 03/11/2010 at 5:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I became that small percent of people who face three different kinds of complications after their wisdom teeth are removed. FML

#9000843
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25557) - you deserved it (1974)

On 03/11/2010 at 5:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom told me she can't wait for me to turn eighteen so she can turn my room into a place for her to display all her antique glass dolls. FML

#8999294
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23050) - you deserved it (2320)

On 03/11/2010 at 4:07pm - misc - by heartless (man) - United States (Texas)



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