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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24383) - you deserved it (3485)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating is heavily into a mystical card game and spends all of his money going to "Magic" card conventions across the country. FML

#8153164
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11090) - you deserved it (24097)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:03am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, we had our second snow day in a row, something that never happens. So while the rest of school got to sleep late, I had to wake up early, get dressed, and go to my bus stop because my mom didn't believe me. FML

#8153110
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26935) - you deserved it (2845)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by goestoschoolonsnowdays - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a conference for work. When I got there I sat beside a woman about my age. She immediately got up and moved to the opposite side of the room. We were the only two there. FML

#8148344
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20423) - you deserved it (5321)

On 02/11/2010 at 10:32pm - work - by Female - United States

Today, I bundled up to shovel my car out of almost 2 feet of snow, only to find my car was gone. I ran into the nearby police station to report my stolen car. The policeman trudged down with me to get a report. I had parked my car on the other side of the street. FML

#8144453
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5354) - you deserved it (28465)

On 02/11/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by snowbunny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML

#8142277
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8384) - you deserved it (15346)

On 02/11/2010 at 8:25pm - health - by unknown002 (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML

#8140774
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6459) - you deserved it (29695)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by SummersEve (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went in to a job interview with 6 other girls my age. I tried to sit down on a chair exactly like the ones every other girl was sitting on. Then, one of the interviewers offered to get me a more "sturdy" chair. For the entire interview, I got to sit in the "fat girl chair". FML

#8132975
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (8261)

On 02/11/2010 at 3:15pm - misc - by HellaBomber91 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out my broker invested my $6000 in the wrong stock. How did I find out? He called me to let me know the stock crashed. FML

#8132919
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25071) - you deserved it (3153)

On 02/11/2010 at 3:13pm - money - by extants - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was looking through my computer's history to find a website I had visited. I found an online forum where my son was discussing how to inject Oxycontin. FML

#8132477
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28786) - you deserved it (3414)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:58pm - kids - by Rehab (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

#8131977
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22159) - you deserved it (2036)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by yourstruly - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML

#8130787
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24092) - you deserved it (5819)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:42pm - misc - by tammyg - United States

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

#8130658
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23406) - you deserved it (4898)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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