Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11827) - you deserved it (47304)
On 05/05/2009 at 11:41pm - intimacy - by JoeyDizz (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32815) - you deserved it (7665)
On 05/05/2009 at 10:40pm - misc - by soldier (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my grandparents are in town for the weekend and are staying in our guest bedroom. This morning I went upstairs to get a drink of water only to see my 75 year old grandfather standing stark naked with the fridge door open. He then asks me if we have any coffee creamer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38134) - you deserved it (1692)
On 05/05/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I saw someone drive recklessly as if they were drunk. When I called the cops, I got pulled over by another cop for talking on my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44984) - you deserved it (11200)
On 05/05/2009 at 9:11pm - money - by airborne (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to donate blood for the first time. When they stuck the needle in my arm, I had a panic attack and begged that they take it out. The woman helping me told me she'd take it out in a moment and left. It was then that the Red Cross stole a pint of my blood while I had a panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39846) - you deserved it (12438)
On 05/05/2009 at 8:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40464) - you deserved it (6524)
On 05/05/2009 at 4:39pm - misc - by qwerty (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (204179) - you deserved it (38967)
On 05/05/2009 at 11:37am - animals - by Rhyno - United States (New York)
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21873) - you deserved it (42712)
On 05/05/2009 at 10:17am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after living with my mom for years to save money I finally moved into my first condo. The day after I made my first mortgage payment the sewage system back up and leaked into my bedroom from outside, ruining the carpets and the walls. I have to move back in with my mom until it’s fixed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48639) - you deserved it (2149)
On 05/05/2009 at 9:55am - misc - by Lelia701 (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was riding my bike with my parents. They make me wear a helmet when I'm with them. Some college age kids drove past and yelled, "Nice helmet!" My mother then told me, "They like you!" I'm sixteen and my helmet is blue. With flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44483) - you deserved it (7658)
On 05/05/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by dinosawerr (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (135054) - you deserved it (8294)
On 05/05/2009 at 8:22am - money - by Fitz (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was insulted online by a teenager who said that I was probably a fat loser that still lives with their mother and a couple of cats. They were right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25115) - you deserved it (49114)
On 05/05/2009 at 6:32am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26227) - you deserved it (63044)
On 05/05/2009 at 3:43am - love - by sunboy52 (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
