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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I rode a skateboard down a street past a busy two-story outdoor cafe. As I rode by, a group of people thought it'd be funny to kick stray pebbles at my wheels, trying to make me trip. It worked. My backpack ripped open in the process letting all my school-work float away in the wind. FML

#21517189
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21851) - you deserved it (1754)

On 01/19/2016 at 11:06pm - misc - by YipYop (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I confided in my best friend about my recent weight loss, and how it was due to lack of appetite because of my horrible depression and anxiety. She congratulated me. FML

Today, I was talking to one of my supervisors at my new job. He asked if I knew a professor at the school I recently graduated from, and I decided to babble on about how shitty of a professor he was and how much I loathed his class. He then looked at me and said, "That's my dad." FML

#21517155
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11685) - you deserved it (20668)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:51pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

#21517065
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16623) - you deserved it (5676)

On 01/19/2016 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by xsnqw - United States (California)

Today, I found out my father didn't have a rare brain disease, and that he was just an alcoholic. I've been taking care of him every time his "brain disease" acts up, for 2 years. FML

#21517034
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18879) - you deserved it (3210)

On 01/19/2016 at 3:53pm - misc - by blah - United States (Texas)

Today, I had sex with a guy I met at a party and passed out in his bed. When I woke up at 3 am, he sat up and said, "You're still here?" FML

#21517022
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17101) - you deserved it (8289)

On 01/19/2016 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by clostar - United States (California)

Today, a girl in my class introduced herself to me for the fourth time this semester. Am I really that invisible? FML

#21517019
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20814) - you deserved it (1692)

On 01/19/2016 at 3:07pm - misc - by Mr_Yato (man) - United States

Today, I found out my fiancée has been sleeping with the salesman I bought her engagement ring from. He knew. FML

#21516843
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22110) - you deserved it (1167)

On 01/19/2016 at 1:41am - love - by FML - United States

Today, a friend told me that when I read, I make all the expressions the characters in the book are making. Apparently, I have been doing this since I was a kid, and no one ever told me. FML

#21516742
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17961) - you deserved it (1915)

On 01/18/2016 at 8:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML

#21516669
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22298) - you deserved it (1538)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my parents forced me to write a thank you letter to my uncle who passed away a week after Christmas. FML

#21516655
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17343) - you deserved it (1107)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:04pm - misc - by Well, shit - United States (California)

Today, I put more effort into getting and keeping my Sims onto a good sleep schedule in order to properly take care of their needs than I did for myself. FML

#21516448
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16464) - you deserved it (7156)

On 01/18/2016 at 12:18am - health - by 221bcompanion - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

#21516257
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20536) - you deserved it (3240)

On 01/17/2016 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)



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