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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my daughter mentioned that she didn't need to work because she could convert a dollar to 13 Mexican pesos and convert it back into "13 USD", over and over again. She's 17. FML

#21290410
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34634) - you deserved it (4342)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:23am - kids - by wow - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter admitted to me that the only reason she's nice to me is because I give her money. She's six. FML

#21290277
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30327) - you deserved it (4398)

On 11/02/2014 at 4:09am - kids - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

#21290234
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30529) - you deserved it (2680)

On 11/02/2014 at 1:30am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend was giving me a back massage while I was laying on my stomach. A few minutes into it, he stopped. I turned around to see why; he was taking a picture of my butt. FML

#21290182
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29125) - you deserved it (6424)

On 11/02/2014 at 12:51am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML

#21289931
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33628) - you deserved it (2796)

On 11/01/2014 at 6:22pm - kids - by ThaBoss12 - United States (California)

Today, my boss is still refusing to fire my psychotic coworker, who's made it his mission to insult, annoy, bully and threaten me every day into making me quit. My boss is convinced the guy just has "assburger's" and that the company would get sued if we fired him. FML

#21289781
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30741) - you deserved it (2870)

On 11/01/2014 at 2:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

#21289746
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34572) - you deserved it (4710)

On 11/01/2014 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML

#21289613
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38853) - you deserved it (6188)

On 11/01/2014 at 10:06am - love - by limegreengiraffe - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML

#21289586
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32978) - you deserved it (12216)

On 11/01/2014 at 8:58am - misc - by That Guy - United States (Florida)

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML

#21289481
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32178) - you deserved it (4443)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by 4evalone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dressed up as my friend for Halloween. He has a very distinct style and I thought my costume was pretty clever. When he saw me, he said he had never been so offended in his entire life, and now I feel like a complete asshole. FML

#21289474
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28353) - you deserved it (13859)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML

#21289401
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32960) - you deserved it (6283)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by Halloween Fail (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents told me they don't think I'll ever find a boyfriend, and insist on referring to my future cats as their "grandkids". FML

#21289318
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29001) - you deserved it (2609)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:16pm - love - by really - United States



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