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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML

#21386448
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27659) - you deserved it (2487)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:21am - misc - by King.Dick. (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

#21386410
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26596) - you deserved it (2854)

On 04/02/2015 at 8:51am - health - by RomanceFail - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37838) - you deserved it (2080)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

#21386294
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13510) - you deserved it (26723)

On 04/02/2015 at 12:40am - misc - by banana12321 - United States (California)

Today, while at work, a guy complained about me "touching his fries." At first I thought it was a joke, because he kept smiling, even after I offered him new ones. I realized it wasn't a joke when he threw the fries on the counter. FML

#21386179
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23692) - you deserved it (2095)

On 04/01/2015 at 10:04pm - work - by QueenCee - United States (California)

Today, I was reprimanded at work for having a low friendliness rating as a cashier. For two months, out of 1500 transactions, only 3 people filled out the survey. I almost got fired because 1 out of 3 people was mad about a coupon. FML

Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML

#21385728
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27731) - you deserved it (2045)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:56pm - misc - by megan - United States (Florida)

Today, a coworker and I pulled a April Fools' joke on our boss. She "borrowed" his keys and rolled down his window. I took a car window from a scrap yard and sprinkled it on the ground near his door. His response was to kick the nearest object in anger. The nearest object happened to be my car. FML

#21385709
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24122) - you deserved it (9814)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:46pm - work - by TecheyTim - United States (New York)

Today, my self-esteem issues got me jealous of Superman's hair. FML

#21385588
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21037) - you deserved it (5857)

On 04/01/2015 at 12:20pm - misc - by curseyousuperman (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML

#21385144
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28813) - you deserved it (3094)

On 04/01/2015 at 2:06am - love - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

#21384902
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (2283)

On 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm - work - by DrunkParents - United States (Montana)

Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML

#21384707
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30243) - you deserved it (2382)

On 03/31/2015 at 12:47pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out there's a support page on Facebook for people who have been "hurt" by me. FML

#21384648
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16094) - you deserved it (29615)

On 03/31/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by SupportPage - United States (California)



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