Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my boyfriend's brother and fiancé decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML

#21438785
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24541) - you deserved it (1992)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:24pm - misc - by ZiggyTink - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my 5-year-old won't stop princess-waving at people. This would be fine, but she looks exactly like she is giving the Nazi salute. I got dirty looks from nearly everyone at the supermarket. FML

#21438778
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22513) - you deserved it (1922)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:13pm - kids - by momoftheyearedition - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, instead of canceling for the third consecutive time due to work-related reasons, my boyfriend sent his twin brother on our date. They both thought I wouldn't notice. FML

#21438625
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26236) - you deserved it (1671)

On 07/08/2015 at 4:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm so out of shape that I got winded from getting out of bed. FML

#21438468
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17912) - you deserved it (15963)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:16am - health - by Jack Shart Jr. (man) - United States

Today, I guest-played as a catcher for a new fastpitch softball team. After the first couple of innings, the batter fouled a ball back into my catcher's mask. As a concussion test, the coach asked me what her name was. I decided to fake the concussion rather than admit that I'd forgotten her name. FML

#21438439
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23267) - you deserved it (5207)

On 07/08/2015 at 9:58am - health - by Softball - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

#21438347
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22869) - you deserved it (3923)

On 07/08/2015 at 3:04am - animals - by coolcat10156 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future". even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML

#21438331
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25904) - you deserved it (1462)

On 07/08/2015 at 2:17am - misc - by WayToGoDaddyHo (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my new antidepressants finally kicked in. I switched to them to try to control my anxiety. Turns out that the most common side effect, funnily enough, is nervousness. Guess I should've done more research. FML

#21438172
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19309) - you deserved it (3824)

On 07/07/2015 at 8:52pm - health - by BigHelp (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I spent more time driving to my vacation spot than actually vacationing. FML

#21438049
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20794) - you deserved it (3565)

On 07/07/2015 at 4:43pm - misc - by Hue - United States

Today, I just finished a driving school that I thought would lower my insurance by 10%. It was 30 hours so I was glad it was over, that was until I found out I took the wrong class. FML

#21438040
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19565) - you deserved it (7579)

On 07/07/2015 at 4:20pm - misc - by HowToGetFired - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine and that she'd never seen it before. FML

#21438009
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (2343)

On 07/07/2015 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend freaked out at me because he found a couple of orange hairs in my bed and he knows my ex is a redhead. He also knows I have two orange cats. FML

#21437983
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24940) - you deserved it (2063)

On 07/07/2015 at 2:19pm - love - by innocent cat lady - United States

Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML

#21437872
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (1425)

On 07/07/2015 at 9:26am - misc - by No-Sleep Nellie - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: