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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21555) - you deserved it (1605)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my pregnant sister has been watching Teen Mom 2 to find out how to be a good parent. FML

#21447950
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23144) - you deserved it (1645)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML

#21447824
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20007) - you deserved it (3929)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:43am - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I found out why my girlfriend was so excited to get to see me. She finally got to end the relationship she didn't want anymore. FML

Today, the drive-thru lady at Taco Bell broke my debit card and tried to hide it by wrapping it in a receipt. FML

#21447771
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22369) - you deserved it (1282)

On 07/26/2015 at 11:00pm - money - by stonehengeva - United States (Virginia)

Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML

#21447742
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20487) - you deserved it (2063)

On 07/26/2015 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by wot02 (woman) - United States

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

#21447695
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17280) - you deserved it (10682)

On 07/26/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by blondebarbie271 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room in the middle of the night. Even though they know I don't have any money, let alone shoes on my feet, my parents have decided it's far too much trouble to come pick me up because we're on vacation and they want to have fun. FML

#21447671
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19182) - you deserved it (1439)

On 07/26/2015 at 6:47pm - health - by GreatParenting (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I went to put a lasagna in the oven for dinner. I was greeted by a revolting scent of a chicken-soup and biscuits boxed dinner. The fridge apparently was too full for my brother to put it away inside, so he covered it up and forgot about it in the oven. We made that dinner two weeks ago. FML.

#21447669
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18269) - you deserved it (1648)

On 07/26/2015 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I told my boyfriend of three years that I wanted to get married and have a child within the next five years. He responded by packing up my things and showing me the door. FML

#21447549
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19921) - you deserved it (4439)

On 07/26/2015 at 2:20pm - love - by rissa5214 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

#21447538
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19465) - you deserved it (1644)

On 07/26/2015 at 1:55pm - love - by suosi (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML

#21447294
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25762) - you deserved it (2282)

On 07/26/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by TheAce44 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML

#21447183
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20330) - you deserved it (2093)

On 07/25/2015 at 8:22pm - love - by Lucachoo - United States (California)



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