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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I got 3 different rejection letters mailed to me from the same college. FML

#21320043
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28601) - you deserved it (2387)

On 12/18/2014 at 11:04pm - misc - by ai_lauren (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

#21319982
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28405) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/18/2014 at 9:39pm - love - by I warned him - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

#21319860
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25147) - you deserved it (3289)

On 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

#21319192
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35957) - you deserved it (2424)

On 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I decided to splurge and get valet parking at a fancy restaurant. I got out of the car and gave the man my keys and watched as he slowly backed my car into another car. FML

#21319039
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30227) - you deserved it (2948)

On 12/17/2014 at 8:33am - misc - by seriously - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29012) - you deserved it (2727)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, my boss heard a rumor that I was in a relationship with a fellow co-worker. He assured me that inside relationships weren't against any store policy, so I confirmed it. He then fired my boyfriend anyway. FML

#21318814
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28354) - you deserved it (4469)

On 12/16/2014 at 10:31pm - work - by thankssomuch - United States (Maine)

Today, a student's mother sent me an e-mail complaining that I was requiring her child to read a book containing mild profanity. She then demanded me to let him read an easier book. This would've been somewhat acceptable if the student wasn't in the 12th grade. FML

#21318762
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30231) - you deserved it (2327)

On 12/16/2014 at 9:11pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31836) - you deserved it (6273)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML

#21318557
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27577) - you deserved it (6589)

On 12/16/2014 at 2:26pm - misc - by privatebathroomneeded - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

Today, someone backed straight into my car as I was hunting for a parking spot. I just got my car back from the body shop after a hit-and-run. FML

#21318499
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28127) - you deserved it (2086)

On 12/16/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by shit_fer_luck (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my parents decided to "discipline" my kitten by spraying her with water. This somehow managed to completely un-train her, and now she's back to being the compulsive biter she was when I first brought her home. FML

#21318466
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27181) - you deserved it (3002)

On 12/16/2014 at 10:01am - animals - by scars - United States (Illinois)



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