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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML

#21415827
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25094) - you deserved it (1549)

On 05/25/2015 at 11:50pm - work - by tmi4me - United States

Today, one of my regulars came up to my car in the parking lot. We talked through the window while I put on my makeup. He then asked for a hug because he won't be in for two weeks. I obliged and he was kind enough to slide his hand between my legs. He then gave me $50 not to tell his wife. FML

Today, at work, I dropped two bottles of wine on the floor. Unbelievably, they both didn't break. That, however, did not stop my boss from taking a few points away on my evaluation. My $3 raise is now reduced to $0.25. FML

#21415769
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21905) - you deserved it (2445)

On 05/25/2015 at 10:26pm - work - by A1NoSauce - United States (Florida)

Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML

#21415763
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23256) - you deserved it (1533)

On 05/25/2015 at 10:24pm - misc - by wrestling probs - United States

Today, I tried to work on my attitude at work. People say I'm mean, so I tried to be nice all day. Apparently I'm now condescending. FML

#21415518
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21314) - you deserved it (3108)

On 05/25/2015 at 1:42pm - work - by Frustrated - United States

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

#21415473
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27406) - you deserved it (1977)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while sick with the flu, I had the police called on me by my older neighbors downstairs. They thought I was hosting a party at 3 in the morning. I was really just throwing up constantly. FML

#21415404
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (1469)

On 05/25/2015 at 7:39am - health - by Hooperist (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, my housemates are throwing a huge house party to celebrate finishing their finals. It's 4:30am and people are still arriving. I have my last final in 3 hours. FML

#21415194
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26066) - you deserved it (1917)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:59pm - misc - by Party Pooper - United States

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

#21415171
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23889) - you deserved it (9477)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

#21415031
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24366) - you deserved it (3708)

On 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by ugh - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML

#21414899
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29659) - you deserved it (1852)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:15am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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