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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom, decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15335) - you deserved it (1034)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15541) - you deserved it (1091)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

#21249316
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14171) - you deserved it (1010)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

#21249182
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14441) - you deserved it (962)

On 08/31/2014 at 5:51pm - work - by Happy Employee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML

#21249110
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22414) - you deserved it (2651)

On 08/31/2014 at 3:27pm - kids - by TheFatOne - United States

Today, I felt so overwhelmed by all the kids in my house that I sat in the bathroom alone for a while to get some peace. I sat on the toilet for so long that I started to pee, realizing too late that the seat was down, and that I was also quite overdressed for the occasion. FML

#21249067
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20552) - you deserved it (6355)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:01pm - kids - by SunshineSquared (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

#21249060
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21206) - you deserved it (1879)

On 08/31/2014 at 1:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (2654)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML

#21248418
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25809) - you deserved it (2108)

On 08/30/2014 at 11:14am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

#21248169
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28414) - you deserved it (6828)

On 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm - kids - by sam_666777 - United States (New York)

Today, my little sister was using my phone to play games. About an hour later, she came to me and said my phone wouldn't work. Turns out my phone had gotten hot and she put it in water to cool it down. FML

#21247999
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30350) - you deserved it (3537)

On 08/29/2014 at 5:22pm - kids - by Quincy_Ethan - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a job. My parents have decided it's now a better idea to take money from my paycheck instead of grounding me. FML

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

#21247953
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32294) - you deserved it (4360)

On 08/29/2014 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by SCARRED (man) - United States (Missouri)



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