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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

#21346656
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3045) - you deserved it (249)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:00am - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was excited that my sister called me for the first time in months. She asked me to stop watching "Friends" so she could use the Netflix account. Now, I still have an absentee sister and no Friends. FML

#21346655
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5273) - you deserved it (535)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to get a haircut. Who shows up not 5 minutes later to also get a haircut? My obnoxious, bully of a boss. She proceeded to chat with me across the salon the entire time. There was no way to get out of the conversation. FML

#21346487
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7001) - you deserved it (509)

On 01/29/2015 at 9:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I looked out my window to see my neighbor politely shovelling people's driveways. He skipped ours. Why? He likes our daughter but she doesn't like him back. FML

#21346462
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7679) - you deserved it (1117)

On 01/29/2015 at 9:06pm - love - by EnderHorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to have a pre-cancerous mole removed off of my nose. When the doctor numbed my nose, she didn't check to see if the anesthetic actually worked, and began hacking away at my nose, leaving me to feel every last flick of the razor. Turns out I have an immunity to that anesthetic. FML

#21346273
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9187) - you deserved it (639)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:00pm - health - by ThatWasntFun - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML

#21346230
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15066) - you deserved it (1717)

On 01/29/2015 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up after taking the new sleeping pills I was prescribed for my insomnia. I slept for 12 hours and had 5 missed calls from my boss. FML

#21346205
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14020) - you deserved it (1283)

On 01/29/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by anon - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my parents continue comparing me to my "perfect" friend. He smokes dope, is a compulsive thief, and has gone to juvie numerous times. I'm passing school with flying colors and have never been in any trouble with the law. Apparently I should be more like him. FML

#21346172
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14705) - you deserved it (1013)

On 01/29/2015 at 12:01pm - misc - by John Doe (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. Turns out his dad is the asshole customer that I complain about all the time. He recognized me too and spent the entire dinner making passive-aggressive remarks about how bad of an employee I am. FML

#21345967
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18537) - you deserved it (1596)

On 01/29/2015 at 12:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a kid knocked on my door and said that he would clean the snow off of my car for $5. I agreed and checked up on him ten minutes later. Not only was he taking off the snow, he was taking off the paint with a scraper, trying to get rid of the ice. FML

#21345921
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16904) - you deserved it (2851)

On 01/28/2015 at 11:13pm - kids - by MrRen - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got out of the shower and walked into my living room to see my sis' and her boyfriend sitting very closely on our family's fairly large couch. I laughed and said, "Look at the happy couple." Then her now ex-boyfriend burst into tears. Turns out they'd just broken up. FML

#21345785
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18318) - you deserved it (2312)

On 01/28/2015 at 7:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, instead of taking down the Christmas tree, my sister covered it with Valentine's Day decorations. FML

Today, I fell asleep curling my bangs. I now look like Mrs. Potato head. FML

#21345701
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11559) - you deserved it (7786)

On 01/28/2015 at 5:20pm - misc - by WildShortstop13 - United States (South Dakota)



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