FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I got an expensive drone for my birthday. My brother got a BB gun and thought it would be hilarious to shoot my drone with it while I was flying it. FML

by KingKralj / 12/04/2016 at 4:49pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was the DJ for a company party that was supposed to end at 11 p.m. The company ended up wanting music late and my boss made me stay there until they got tired, which ended up being 3 a.m. I start work at my other job at 7 a.m. FML

by sleepy / 12/03/2016 at 4:54am / United States (North Dakota) / Work

Today, I've had so many family members die in the past 4 years, I now think of which pictures would look good at people's funerals when I look through photo albums. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2016 at 4:54am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for work anymore. He said no and went crazy. HR and the police are now involved. FML

by HR nightmare / 12/02/2016 at 12:20am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both whispered, "Sorry." Our teacher promptly gave us detention and a 0% on the test for talking. Sorry for being sorry? FML

by Sorry? / 12/01/2016 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my reflexes kicked in when I saw a hot glue gun falling. FML

by ghostninja4593 / 12/01/2016 at 10:48pm / United States (Iowa) / Health

Today, the pizza delivery man and I know more about each other than me and my family ever have. FML

by CheeseLover / 12/01/2016 at 7:44pm / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, my family was watching a football game and kept mentioning their team's quarterback's name and, as I'm not a football fan by any means, asked them who this was. My grandma then turned to me and said, "This is why you don't have a boyfriend." FML

by anonymous / 12/01/2016 at 11:00am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I moved states to be with my soulmate in our new condo. It was also the day I took out a neighbor's balcony with my U-Haul. FML

by crash and burn / 12/01/2016 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Money

Today, my horse learned a new acrobatic trick. Unfortunately, I was still on top of him when he tried to somersault. The horse is fine. I'm in the hospital, fresh out of surgery for a broken femur. FML

by Lizziebelle / 12/01/2016 at 3:07am / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of time since I've been looking for a job. I got an e-mail yesterday from a company for a telephone interview which I was happy about. The day of the interview, my phone is disconnected. FML

by heaventlyassbutt / 11/30/2016 at 7:45am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got him to sleep, I tried to go to bed. My husband is now snoring, farting and taking up my side of the bed. I desperately need some sleep. FML

by purpletrout / 11/30/2016 at 1:39am / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, the girl I've liked for over a year, broke up with me after just 2 weeks of dating, all because I'm a better pianist then her. I've been playing since I was 8. She's been playing for 6 months. FML

by betterpianist / 11/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States / Love