Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I thought I had carbon monoxide poisoning because I had the symptoms and my detector was going off. I called the fire dept, they checked me, they checked my apartment. My apartment is fine; I'm just out of shape, have high blood pressure, and don't know how to work simple electronics. FML

#21367736
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (528) - you deserved it (221)

On 03/04/2015 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was expecting a card from my husband stationed in Japan, but he mailed it to my mom. Since I'm busy and don't see her much, she tried to help by mailing it to me. It's long overdue, and the post office never got it. The card came from Japan, only to get lost traveling 30 minutes away. FML

#21367657
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3514) - you deserved it (307)

On 03/03/2015 at 10:54pm - misc - by snailmail - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML

#21367600
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3378) - you deserved it (720)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by notdrivinganytimesoon (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from a potential employer. They spent five minutes explaining job duties and I listened with anticipation. Then they spent five minutes explaining why I wasn't the right person for the job. FML

#21367505
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4599) - you deserved it (340)

On 03/03/2015 at 7:28pm - work - by Kali (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got fired from my new waitress job after 2 shifts. They said I wasn't experienced enough to handle the fast pace. I thought I'd been doing well so I asked my friend who works there what really happened. Apparently not showing my boobs enough at a family place was grounds for dismissal. FML

#21367306
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5583) - you deserved it (393)

On 03/03/2015 at 2:06pm - work - by miewann - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my entire junior class took the ACT. On the last test, a classmate's phone went off, automatically invalidating the whole test. We all have to retake it. FML

#21367245
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20694) - you deserved it (1339)

On 03/03/2015 at 12:37pm - misc - by WeAllHateHimNow - United States (Michigan)

Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

#21367147
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19700) - you deserved it (1642)

On 03/03/2015 at 8:14am - kids - by Mommycakes (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (4246)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a person in my class completing a project that was due two periods later and that they had just started in the bathroom. They got a better grade than me. FML

#21366872
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20144) - you deserved it (3107)

On 03/02/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anomaly - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

#21366785
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17604) - you deserved it (8336)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm - misc - by Microtron - United States (Ohio)

Today, I noticed my ex was feeling down. We ended things on good terms and I've been wanting to start things up again, so I figured I'd bring him dinner to cheer him up and maybe hang out. Looks like he and his one night stand get to eat my home cooked food while I go home to Netflix. FML

Today, I was demoted as a bridesmaid in a wedding because I dyed my hair, and didn't ask permission from the bride to do so. The bride is my sister. FML

Today, after many tests and doctor visits, I finally found out the reason for my flu-like symptoms isn't a vitamin deficient or anything. The damn tea I drink every morning makes me feel sick. FML



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: