FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML

by mjbx / 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Love

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 10:03am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

by blegh / 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML

by Sophie / 12/26/2011 at 11:21pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Transportation

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Intimacy

Today, I attended my extended family's Christmas dinner. All throughout, my grandmother kept complaining about how the food tasted like crap, and making sexual remarks such as how "the stuffings were far better in my day, if you know what I mean." FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 3:38pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, is Christmas day. Normally, I'd spend it with family. However, my boss decided everyone has to work today, despite the fact that there's enough people who want to work to run the place. Apparently it's "fairer" if we all have to do it - except him. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 1:25am / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Work

Today, I wrapped my boyfriend's Christmas presents for him, because he was too lazy to do it himself. This included my own present. FML

by lovinglife / 12/24/2011 at 7:51am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I used so many different perfume testers that I passed out on the bus. FML

by justnance / 12/22/2011 at 1:04pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I started undressing in front of my boyfriend. He politely said, "Excuse me, please" because I was blocking the T.V. FML

by lalala / 12/22/2011 at 12:26pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML

by Jean / 12/22/2011 at 3:09am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love

Today, I had to sit and listen to my co-worker moan about how early he has to get up tomorrow to go on his ski holiday in France over Christmas. He also complained about how tiring skiing is. FML

by dogwheels / 12/20/2011 at 6:54am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Work