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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I got on an empty tram and decided to sit at the back. A few minutes in I start to hear a noise and thinking it was the tram, decided to ignore it. When I heard what sounded like an evil giggle, I looked around to see that it wasn't the tram, but it was some creepy middle aged man taking photos of me. FML

#8891257
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24677) - you deserved it (2062)

On 03/07/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by tramrider - United Kingdom (Greater London)

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

#8889344
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26932) - you deserved it (5924)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, there was a flood at my friends house. As a result, their cat shelter had to be evacuated, and my mother decided to help. I came home to 23 cats in my bedroom. I'm highly allergic. My face has now swollen up to the size of a football, and I have an important job interview tomorrow. FML

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

#8819773
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22670) - you deserved it (3155)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML

#8819717
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18615) - you deserved it (5028)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:43am - work - by Garry (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I had to explain to my 14-year-old sister why one must not wear the same pair of knickers for a week. FML

#8754431
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24830) - you deserved it (1981)

On 03/01/2010 at 7:14pm - health - by :( - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I saw my boyfriend of two years had joined a group on facebook called 'Guys who are proud of their girlfriends'. I smiled and was about to like it when I noticed a comment below from a girl saying "Awww thanks babe :) xxxx". FML

#8713394
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36123) - you deserved it (2549)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:10am - love - by FBfail (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, after a particularly gruesome nightmare about spiders due to my irrational phobia, I decided to try and desensitise myself by googling 'house spiders'. I can't stop the feeling of something crawling over every inch of my body, but at least I now know they can live up to six years. FML

#8700237
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17638) - you deserved it (6371)

On 02/27/2010 at 9:03pm - health - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my parents bought a new car with the money they made from selling mine. To make up for selling my car without telling me, they let me choose the make, model, and colour of the new car... which I just found out I'm not allowed to drive. FML

Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML

#8634063
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11090) - you deserved it (36948)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:42am - love - by OmniVore (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I found out a guy I had a thing with a while back thinks I am obsessed with him. This is because when he said that we should be friends, I stupidly thought he was being sincere and bothered to call him all of three times in the last five months. Clearly a sign of obsession. FML

#8634041
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24414) - you deserved it (3306)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:37am - love - by loling (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I realised my girlfriend is the perfect woman for most men. She only ever talks to me in the intermissions on Modern Warfare 2; shame it's not me playing. FML

#8614078
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23017) - you deserved it (5509)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by sadf4x0r (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML

#8611277
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27215) - you deserved it (2761)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:58am - misc - by puzzled (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)



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