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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I got a huge bill through the post. It turns out that my elderly mother made the vet come out to my house to see the dog while I was out, because she was scared of the little growths she had found on his body. They were nipples. FML

#10925593
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29758) - you deserved it (2278)

On 06/02/2010 at 7:15pm - money - by dogshavenipples (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was finally time for both of us to have sex with each other. He kept his shoes on the whole time because he thought he had smelly feet. FML

#10906300
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31330) - you deserved it (5048)

On 06/01/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by smellyfeet (woman) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I went to the supermarket; it was taking me ages to walk home because of the heavy food bags. Halfway home, I realised I had gone in my car. I had to walk all the way back to get my car. FML

#10906033
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10152) - you deserved it (52815)

On 06/01/2010 at 11:59am - misc - by Lou (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

#10804191
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24989) - you deserved it (4370)

On 05/27/2010 at 6:50pm - misc - by Fark (woman) - United Kingdom (Cumbria)

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

#10760568
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56371) - you deserved it (3528)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:06pm - love - by DHarman (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I'm named after my dad's favourite drink. FML

#10665282
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27003) - you deserved it (3902)

On 05/21/2010 at 8:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me in an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML

#10627602
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27812) - you deserved it (6909)

On 05/19/2010 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

#10540759
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9795) - you deserved it (43708)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by Staples - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML

#10481687
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22128) - you deserved it (5387)

On 05/12/2010 at 5:49am - health - by nick - United Kingdom (London)

Today, if it wasn't already embarrassing enough to tell my boyfriend I was on my period, I had to explain what a period is in the first place, how it works, and why it means nothing can happen during that time of the month. He's twenty. FML

#10435467
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43369) - you deserved it (5995)

On 05/09/2010 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML

#9211500
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24410) - you deserved it (19910)

On 03/19/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML

#9181615
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19512) - you deserved it (3761)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:24am - intimacy - by burgeee - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML

#9158778
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23127) - you deserved it (5102)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by smiler (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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