FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, my father met my boyfriend for the first time at dinner. The only thing he said to him the whole evening was, "Are you circumcised?" FML

by shamed / 11/05/2011 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

by rj93 / 11/05/2011 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Ballymena) / Health

Today, it was my first time taking blood on the ward. The doctor saw that I was nervous and gave me a violent old man with schizophrenia who thought I was there to kill him. FML

by sakura_girl / 11/04/2011 at 7:59am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I have my first university lecture on lab safety. Having gone out the night before with my house-mates, I have the worst hangover of my life, and have to listen for an hour and a half while they loudly demonstrate the types of alarms we'll hear in different kinds of emergencies. FML

by ...loud noises...urgh... / 11/02/2011 at 12:39pm / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They locked me out for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML

by miley098 / 11/02/2011 at 12:37pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2011 at 6:09am / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Miscellaneous

Today, while trying to get my phone to charge, I shoved in the cable harder and harder and tried to wobble it so my phone would charge. After snapping the USB input from the force, I saw the plug was switched off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2011 at 9:34pm / United Kingdom (Poole) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML

by duped / 10/29/2011 at 7:32am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love

Today, I was in a rush and had to get changed in a train restroom. While changing, I leaned against the button that opened the door. Not only do train toilet doors open and close very slowly, leaving you half naked for a few seconds, but everyone in the carriage opposite can see clearly. FML

by omgomgomg / 10/27/2011 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. The only way I could have gotten pregnant is from having gotten drunk and sleeping with my ex. We broke up because I didn't want children. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 11:24am / United Kingdom (Shropshire) / Love

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

by MereLewis95 / 10/26/2011 at 4:58am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML

by wtf / 10/24/2011 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I uploaded my latest picture onto a photography website. It only got one comment, and even that was from someone advising me to never use the same hideous model ever again. It was a self-portrait. FML

by fuglyphotographer / 10/23/2011 at 2:05pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Miscellaneous