Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I realized that I'm so bored of my relationship with my girlfriend, I'd rather make sure I don't break the springs in my bed than make love to her. FML

#9068161
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7247) - you deserved it (19414)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML

#9067691
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33704) - you deserved it (5949)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by Cooky (man) - United Kingdom (Calderdale)

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

#9042400
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32756) - you deserved it (6674)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

#9040804
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (8839)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML

#9026047
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16013) - you deserved it (7273)

On 03/12/2010 at 4:44pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML

#9021553
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4859) - you deserved it (26343)

On 03/12/2010 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28791) - you deserved it (6501)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my extremely loud and nocturnal flatmate phoned me to tell me excitedly that he got an accordion for his birthday. FML

#8994510
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20836) - you deserved it (2342)

On 03/11/2010 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hillingdon)

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

#8991320
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8865) - you deserved it (46416)

On 03/11/2010 at 3:13am - misc - by ShowOff (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML

#8971410
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22344) - you deserved it (8086)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:37pm - money - by MR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got fired from my job as a postman, which I started yesterday. They fired me because I failed to deliver a bunch of papers to a road that no longer exists. FML

#8946577
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28097) - you deserved it (2123)

On 03/09/2010 at 2:41pm - work - by pat (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I left my car in a disreputable area. After picking it up later on, I heard a strange "clonking" sound. The clonking suddenly stopped when my wheel fell off; someone had stolen my wheel nuts. FML

#8941077
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19835) - you deserved it (3808)

On 03/09/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by 3-wheeler (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I showed my fiancé the darling Tinkerbell hoodie I'd bought myself during the weekend. Instead of liking it as I'd hoped, he told me my childish wardrobe was embarrassing, and he wasn't going to be seen in public with me until I wore something different. FML

#8922378
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10465) - you deserved it (46635)

On 03/08/2010 at 4:35pm - love - by Crystal (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: