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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I got into my car and realised that my CDs were no longer in my glove box. According to the police, the random key code for my car type has been cracked, and thieves can now let themselves in whenever they want. The manufacturer says they can't do anything about it. FML

#13158872
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28298) - you deserved it (2746)

On 09/22/2010 at 5:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44410) - you deserved it (9770)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I found out I have a job interview coming up. For the job I'm currently doing and have been for the last nine months. My manager told me not to expect too much. FML

#13152875
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19637) - you deserved it (2025)

On 09/22/2010 at 2:56am - work - by innuendom - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that my mother has been seeing my maths teacher. I'm still failing his class. FML

#13144525
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25805) - you deserved it (6812)

On 09/21/2010 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I realised that I could see my own mustache out of my peripheral vision while I was eating. I'm a 23 year old woman. FML

#13141247
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23243) - you deserved it (13348)

On 09/21/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML

#13140704
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34542) - you deserved it (4503)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:44am - kids - by cganon - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

#13127028
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33621) - you deserved it (3525)

On 09/20/2010 at 10:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

#13097397
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17467) - you deserved it (25023)

On 09/18/2010 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29963) - you deserved it (3027)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was walking down the stairs holding a glass of water, when I tripped. I don't know what hurts more, that I'm still picking glass out of my hand or that my mum is still ranting about the water I'd spilt. FML

#13046005
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24509) - you deserved it (2315)

On 09/14/2010 at 6:44am - misc - by Lolzords - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got to my weekly drama group a bit late. Everyone looked surprised when I walked in. Casually, I sat down and apologised for being late. I thought everyone looked awkward, probably because it turned out I'd been kicked out of the group. The teacher had decided to announce it before making sure I'd got the email. FML

#13045584
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22066) - you deserved it (2976)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:31am - misc - by a7xforever (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML

#13035925
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19868) - you deserved it (5528)

On 09/13/2010 at 3:33pm - misc - by Joplin - United Kingdom



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