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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I went to the supermarket; it was taking me ages to walk home because of the heavy food bags. Halfway home, I realised I had gone in my car. I had to walk all the way back to get my car. FML

#10906033
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10138) - you deserved it (52763)

On 06/01/2010 at 11:59am - misc - by Lou (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

#10804191
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24929) - you deserved it (4365)

On 05/27/2010 at 6:50pm - misc - by Fark (woman) - United Kingdom (Cumbria)

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

#10760568
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56277) - you deserved it (3524)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:06pm - love - by DHarman (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I'm named after my dad's favourite drink. FML

#10665282
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26943) - you deserved it (3902)

On 05/21/2010 at 8:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me in an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML

#10627602
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27758) - you deserved it (6903)

On 05/19/2010 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

#10540759
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9780) - you deserved it (43669)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by Staples - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML

#10481687
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22003) - you deserved it (5379)

On 05/12/2010 at 5:49am - health - by nick - United Kingdom (London)

Today, if it wasn't already embarrassing enough to tell my boyfriend I was on my period, I had to explain what a period is in the first place, how it works, and why it means nothing can happen during that time of the month. He's twenty. FML

#10435467
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43295) - you deserved it (5991)

On 05/09/2010 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML

#9211500
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24347) - you deserved it (19892)

On 03/19/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML

#9181615
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19269) - you deserved it (3739)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:24am - intimacy - by burgeee - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML

#9158778
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23068) - you deserved it (5101)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by smiler (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I bullied a kid at school, just so someone would talk to me. FML

#9154406
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14686) - you deserved it (71236)

On 03/17/2010 at 5:22am - kids - by Kid (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend since I believed him to be cheating on me with another woman, something he adamantly denied. I went to his house to get all my stuff back. After I left, I discovered a silk thong that definitely did not belong to me, in amongst my clothes. FML

#9132820
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27490) - you deserved it (4121)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:35pm - love - by Busted (woman) - United Kingdom



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