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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML

#11849273
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17091) - you deserved it (25909)

On 07/13/2010 at 11:02am - misc - by OhNo - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I must be the only person who has been taking the contraceptive pill for six years without ever needing to use it as a contraceptive. FML

#11848854
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29677) - you deserved it (8533)

On 07/13/2010 at 10:27am - intimacy - by justwow (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend jumping on my bed exclaiming that he had "won the lottery." He broke the bed. Turns out he only won £15.80. FML

#11790299
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28931) - you deserved it (2756)

On 07/10/2010 at 8:03am - money - by Ecce (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I worked up the courage at lunch to sit next to the girl I've been in love with for 3 years. Everything was going great. That is, until I sneezed and my retainer shot out my mouth, and landed in her lap. FML

#11720249
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42559) - you deserved it (7282)

On 07/07/2010 at 9:17am - love - by braceface (man) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I got an email from my cousin to "save the date" for her baby shower. It's on my 21st birthday. This is the same cousin who got engaged on my 18th. FML

#11687611
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41464) - you deserved it (3885)

On 07/05/2010 at 11:48pm - misc - by littlestardramaq - United Kingdom (Greater London)

Today, in an attempt to save money on waxing, I bought veet hair removal cream. I also discovered it has the same effect on carpets. Now I have to pay for a replacement. So much for saving money. FML

#11559834
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19487) - you deserved it (12219)

On 06/30/2010 at 5:39am - misc - by charlotte273 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I went to a party. No one there was under 60. I'm 16 and it was the only party I've been to all year. FML

#11492155
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33804) - you deserved it (7168)

On 06/27/2010 at 6:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my boyfriend thought he gave me unimaginable pleasure. I didn't have the heart to tell him I had cramp in both my legs at the same time. FML

#11236853
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31285) - you deserved it (7158)

On 06/16/2010 at 7:32am - intimacy - by kitkat1603 (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, it's my Nana's birthday and to say she is having a good time is an understatement. She's so drunk, she took out her false teeth tried to put them in her dog's mouth. When she failed, she tried the cat's. FML

#11166958
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29956) - you deserved it (3765)

On 06/13/2010 at 10:36am - misc - by Cat (woman) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my siblings overpowered me and duct taped me to a chair. Helpless, I had to wait until my dad got home so he could help me. Instead, the first thing he did was reach for his camera to take a picture. FML

#11148383
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32444) - you deserved it (7421)

On 06/12/2010 at 2:55pm - kids - by kingwalrus - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I was at the airport baggage collection when I saw an old man struggling to get his very old and heavy suitcase off the belt before giving up. I had already collected my bag, but wanting to be helpful, the old man watched me as I grabbed his handle, yanked and snapped it clean off. FML

#11078150
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28698) - you deserved it (5064)

On 06/09/2010 at 11:13am - misc - by cheekymac - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML

#11054776
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24378) - you deserved it (3931)

On 06/08/2010 at 10:24am - health - by Rach (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about our past relationships. He told me that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was smart and he suited someone who was quite stupid. He then went on to say that I was perfect for him. FML

#11036363
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35718) - you deserved it (6123)

On 06/07/2010 at 3:27pm - love - by Mandy (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)



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