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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I was told that all the data on my laptop is unrecoverable after my hard drive crashed. I have been charged £300 for them to tell me this. Feeling sorry for myself, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and turned on my fan radiator as it's so cold... and promptly set my carpet on fire. FML

#13600670
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26101) - you deserved it (3290)

On 10/26/2010 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, it is my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

#13589791
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32445) - you deserved it (2794)

On 10/25/2010 at 1:08pm - animals - by sambo99 - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

#13587317
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17313) - you deserved it (27770)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:06am - misc - by peestain (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I woke up and had a flick through my camera photos. To my disgust my mother had taken pictures of herself, drunk out of her mind, naked with goggles on in our hot tub. FML

#13586987
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23130) - you deserved it (2419)

On 10/25/2010 at 4:28am - intimacy - by kimbo (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was selling personalised stockings at work. When handing a customer's order over to her, which had no name on, I joked, "Oooh this is a bit mysterious". She replied, "Actually, it's in memory of the baby I miscarried earlier this year." FML

#13574389
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (9140)

On 10/24/2010 at 9:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I failed my driving test. The examiner insisted I that didn't check a junction before pulling out. I did, he just didn't notice because he was too busy staring at my chest. FML

#13535807
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30100) - you deserved it (4680)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I said, "I'm a girl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML

#13513832
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26104) - you deserved it (5424)

On 10/19/2010 at 5:23pm - misc - by lookslikeaboyapparently (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21183) - you deserved it (3043)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got fined when my fat dog decided to walk across a private film set to get at the catering area. FML

#13433237
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20013) - you deserved it (9011)

On 10/13/2010 at 11:28am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was traveling by bus. There were no spare seats, so I stood next to a seated lady. When she got off at her stop, I was amused because her bum made the shape of a mushroom on the seat. I went to sit on it. So I'm sitting there when I realise the seat is really warm... and wet. FML

#13417428
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29589) - you deserved it (7418)

On 10/12/2010 at 5:26am - misc - by babydoll (woman) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I have a busy day of college work ahead of me. I figured I'd best have a good breakfast. Then I realised I'd completely ran out of food except for various types of sauces and condiments. So what am I having for breakfast today? That's right. A nice cup of Gravy. FML

#13416322
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10909) - you deserved it (26756)

On 10/12/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

#13394312
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24393) - you deserved it (8112)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML

#13389491
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5239) - you deserved it (22545)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom



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