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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I had to endure a long drive from Poland to England. We weren't allowed to open our windows. My mum threw up. Twice. FML

#12430167
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28301) - you deserved it (2865)

On 08/10/2010 at 9:46am - health - by travelsickness - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

#12408550
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39886) - you deserved it (13094)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, we got new doors fitted. There were new locks on the bathroom, to the reluctance of my mother, who thought one of us would lock ourselves in. "Only an idiot would lock themselves in," I said, and shut the door to demonstrate. I locked myself in. FML

#12388873
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6572) - you deserved it (32482)

On 08/08/2010 at 10:32am - misc - by Lola (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I discovered how my ex-girlfriend exacted her revenge. Every item of clothing I own now has sequins. FML

#12331416
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18001) - you deserved it (8447)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:00pm - love - by Luke - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, I received a new debit card, so I cut the old one into pieces. I then picked up my remaining card, and realized I'd cut up the wrong one. FML

#12327925
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7958) - you deserved it (36913)

On 08/05/2010 at 7:14am - money - by 8to10days (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the cinema with a girl I like. Knowing she has a bit of a soft spot for me, I was keen to sit in the back row. Too bad her sister tagged along, insisted that we sit somewhere else, and scolded me every time I so much looked at her. I ended up paying for the unwanted guest as well. FML

#12314301
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29510) - you deserved it (4316)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:14pm - misc - by drfeelgood93 - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35466) - you deserved it (9895)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40194) - you deserved it (7170)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I start work in an office, with my mother. FML

#12280624
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23369) - you deserved it (11092)

On 08/03/2010 at 2:17am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

#12245991
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39469) - you deserved it (5048)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:06pm - love - by jacobscrackers - United Kingdom (Bracknell Forest)

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

#12143188
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33800) - you deserved it (15020)

On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was helping a friend move. Before we arrived, he put his key on my key ring to keep it safe. When we got there, he promptly shoved my front door key into the lock and snapped it clean off. Not only can we not get into his house, but now I can't get back into mine. FML

#12107955
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23140) - you deserved it (3276)

On 07/25/2010 at 6:47pm - misc - by Luke (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

#12051058
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34830) - you deserved it (15056)

On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)



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