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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I failed my driving test. The examiner insisted I that didn't check a junction before pulling out. I did, he just didn't notice because he was too busy staring at my chest. FML

#13535807
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30064) - you deserved it (4677)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I said, "I'm a girl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML

#13513832
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26069) - you deserved it (5421)

On 10/19/2010 at 5:23pm - misc - by lookslikeaboyapparently (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21160) - you deserved it (3038)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got fined when my fat dog decided to walk across a private film set to get at the catering area. FML

#13433237
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19973) - you deserved it (9009)

On 10/13/2010 at 11:28am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was traveling by bus. There were no spare seats, so I stood next to a seated lady. When she got off at her stop, I was amused because her bum made the shape of a mushroom on the seat. I went to sit on it. So I'm sitting there when I realise the seat is really warm... and wet. FML

#13417428
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (7411)

On 10/12/2010 at 5:26am - misc - by babydoll (woman) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I have a busy day of college work ahead of me. I figured I'd best have a good breakfast. Then I realised I'd completely ran out of food except for various types of sauces and condiments. So what am I having for breakfast today? That's right. A nice cup of Gravy. FML

#13416322
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10903) - you deserved it (26744)

On 10/12/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

#13394312
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24372) - you deserved it (8106)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML

#13389491
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5232) - you deserved it (22527)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be all right, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML

#13339681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36011) - you deserved it (5315)

On 10/06/2010 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with had a job interview at my place of work. If she gets the job, she'll be my manager. FML

#13287891
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35710) - you deserved it (2539)

On 10/02/2010 at 10:26am - work - by help me! - United Kingdom (London)

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

#13274886
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24051) - you deserved it (29183)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I passed out at a party after having a few too many, as one does. I woke up with swastikas and penises drawn on my face with permanent marker. I now have to go home, using public transport, to my prudish, Jewish dad who thought I was at my friend's house for a sleepover with no alcohol. FML

Today, I bought a new Ipod to replace my old one which decided to stop working. After purchasing my new nano Ipod, I decided to bang my old Ipod on the desk very hard because it was useless. It started working again. FML

#13221595
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23714) - you deserved it (8622)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)



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