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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML

#13985101
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33723) - you deserved it (2665)

On 11/26/2010 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML

#13972455
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23717) - you deserved it (3421)

On 11/25/2010 at 8:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I learned that I wasn't really allergic to chocolate. My parents made it up when I was a child because they didn't want me to get fat. FML

#13970714
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36792) - you deserved it (3935)

On 11/25/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by wow (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was showing my Mom how to use the Internet on her phone. As there was bad reception, it said "Unexpected Failure." Seeing it, she muttered under her breath, "Just like you, then..." FML

#13937046
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28495) - you deserved it (2639)

On 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by unexpected_failure (man) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML

#13876997
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19729) - you deserved it (7307)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I had caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast-milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML

#13874494
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32375) - you deserved it (2788)

On 11/17/2010 at 7:09am - work - by mommy (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to spend £200 at the dentist for fillings and repairs to my teeth. Why do I need them? Because I'm stressed about money and grind my teeth in the night because of it. FML

#13850760
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23709) - you deserved it (3983)

On 11/15/2010 at 7:05am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I failed my driving test. I've been a legal driver in my home country for 8 years, but can't pass the test here. FML

#13789947
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21154) - you deserved it (13357)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

#13788956
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7664) - you deserved it (47651)

On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me, when I got off he smiled and told me as the doors were closing "the last twelve times was for fun." FML

#13777972
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24634) - you deserved it (2501)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:00pm - misc - by nameless - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML

#13773791
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24123) - you deserved it (4803)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:08am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

#13728170
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26313) - you deserved it (4843)

On 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was accused of shop-lifting by an old lady in a supermarket. Having proven myself innocent, I tried to storm off to show my displeasure at the situation. In my haste to make a dramatic exit, I tried to go out of the entrance and walked straight into the automatic door. FML

#13723966
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20843) - you deserved it (11609)

On 11/05/2010 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gwynedd)



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