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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I was traveling by bus. There were no spare seats, so I stood next to a seated lady. When she got off at her stop, I was amused because her bum made the shape of a mushroom on the seat. I went to sit on it. So I'm sitting there when I realise the seat is really warm... and wet. FML

#13417428
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29483) - you deserved it (7403)

On 10/12/2010 at 5:26am - misc - by babydoll (woman) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I have a busy day of college work ahead of me. I figured I'd best have a good breakfast. Then I realised I'd completely ran out of food except for various types of sauces and condiments. So what am I having for breakfast today? That's right. A nice cup of Gravy. FML

#13416322
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10686) - you deserved it (26447)

On 10/12/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

#13394312
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24276) - you deserved it (8093)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML

#13389491
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5217) - you deserved it (22456)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be all right, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML

#13339681
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35935) - you deserved it (5310)

On 10/06/2010 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with had a job interview at my place of work. If she gets the job, she'll be my manager. FML

#13287891
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35625) - you deserved it (2534)

On 10/02/2010 at 10:26am - work - by help me! - United Kingdom (London)

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

#13274886
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (29127)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I passed out at a party after having a few too many, as one does. I woke up with swastikas and penises drawn on my face with permanent marker. I now have to go home, using public transport, to my prudish, Jewish dad who thought I was at my friend's house for a sleepover with no alcohol. FML

Today, I bought a new Ipod to replace my old one which decided to stop working. After purchasing my new nano Ipod, I decided to bang my old Ipod on the desk very hard because it was useless. It started working again. FML

#13221595
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23629) - you deserved it (8611)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, the guy I like recommended I buy this computer game. Wanting to impress him, I agreed. Turns out it was a joke. I am now the proud owner of Microsoft Train Simulator 2005, and he can't stop laughing. FML

#13205814
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8427) - you deserved it (31757)

On 09/26/2010 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got into my car and realised that my CDs were no longer in my glove box. According to the police, the random key code for my car type has been cracked, and thieves can now let themselves in whenever they want. The manufacturer says they can't do anything about it. FML

#13158872
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28006) - you deserved it (2728)

On 09/22/2010 at 5:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44206) - you deserved it (9755)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I found out I have a job interview coming up. For the job I'm currently doing and have been for the last nine months. My manager told me not to expect too much. FML

#13152875
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19158) - you deserved it (1983)

On 09/22/2010 at 2:56am - work - by innuendom - United Kingdom (London)



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