Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML

#14109334
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19487) - you deserved it (4020)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML

#14106944
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13787) - you deserved it (22912)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML

#14086483
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15158) - you deserved it (31790)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend informed me via text message that he had moved to Bristol, and the reason he had ignored me the past fortnight was because he didn't know how to tell me. He knew he was moving even before we even got together. FML

#14058874
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24183) - you deserved it (2510)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:36am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Doncaster)

Today, I got a phone call to say my workplace was closed due to extreme weather conditions. Looking forward to my day off, I then realised the boiler was broken and my house has no heating despite there being a foot of snow outside. I'm spending the day in bed, wearing all my clothes. FML

#14056673
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21447) - you deserved it (2519)

On 12/02/2010 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to take a short cut driving through the snow. I skidded to avoid an oncoming car and ended up in someone's garden, inches from their brand new extension. The house belonged to a police officer. FML

#14045212
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8425) - you deserved it (26963)

On 12/01/2010 at 5:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)

Today, while at work, I cringed as I noticed my caveman colleague frantically digging into his nose and then continuing the use of his computer. I work in IT support and will be rebuilding his computer and reinstalling all his applications in 30 minutes time. FML

#14034046
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20510) - you deserved it (1962)

On 11/30/2010 at 9:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to make up a boyfriend to stop my lesbian roommate coming onto me. FML

#14021682
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31135) - you deserved it (5968)

On 11/29/2010 at 7:39am - intimacy - by katelouise2102 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I blared my music while I got ready for a night out. Getting really into this one song, I grabbed onto the nearest thing as a makeshift microphone. It happened to be the hot end of my curling iron. FML

#13998989
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8498) - you deserved it (35834)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders)

Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML

#13985101
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33716) - you deserved it (2664)

On 11/26/2010 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML

#13972455
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23711) - you deserved it (3421)

On 11/25/2010 at 8:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I learned that I wasn't really allergic to chocolate. My parents made it up when I was a child because they didn't want me to get fat. FML

#13970714
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36788) - you deserved it (3935)

On 11/25/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by wow (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was showing my Mom how to use the Internet on her phone. As there was bad reception, it said "Unexpected Failure." Seeing it, she muttered under her breath, "Just like you, then..." FML

#13937046
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28484) - you deserved it (2639)

On 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by unexpected_failure (man) - United Kingdom (Belfast)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: