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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, like every other day, my boss referred to my breasts as pillows he needs to nap on. FML

#18860090
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37381) - you deserved it (4788)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Emily27 (woman) - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35690) - you deserved it (5380)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house to myself. Wild parties? Hot girls? Loads of beer? No. Flu. FML

#18843444
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32176) - you deserved it (6447)

On 01/18/2012 at 10:29am - health - by partypooper (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML

#18836857
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28285) - you deserved it (4794)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Dooh (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38876) - you deserved it (15029)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

#18804066
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26179) - you deserved it (6280)

On 01/14/2012 at 9:31am - love - by iheartmorons - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML

#18793525
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32012) - you deserved it (4381)

On 01/13/2012 at 5:47am - intimacy - by doctorsandnurses (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

#18785032
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21289) - you deserved it (10564)

On 01/12/2012 at 1:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

#18784375
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15761) - you deserved it (26678)

On 01/12/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Armagh)

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

#18757985
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11159) - you deserved it (23672)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:48pm - health - by owwwwwe - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, it's my anniversary. I've been a single cat-lady for exactly one year. FML

#18756211
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29191) - you deserved it (8237)

On 01/09/2012 at 11:56am - love - by catlady (woman) - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML

#18751726
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31453) - you deserved it (3247)

On 01/08/2012 at 10:43pm - love - by shades (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML

#18734147
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32481) - you deserved it (14225)

On 01/07/2012 at 9:12am - misc - by randomgirl - United Kingdom (London)



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