Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I was on the phone to a guy I really like from work. We'd been talking for about 2 minutes, when he said he was getting another call, and put me on hold. I was so excited to be on the phone with him, it took me a whole 15 minutes to realise he had actually just hung up on me. FML

#14883708
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29811) - you deserved it (6835)

On 02/07/2011 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

#14881975
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51600) - you deserved it (7118)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, I found out that my sister is going to spend the last two months of her pregancy in my house to be with my mother. She's bringing with her her three wild children. The visit also happens to coincide with my end of year examinations in May and June. FML

#14851540
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30450) - you deserved it (2872)

On 02/05/2011 at 11:33am - kids - by stressedandcrowded (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML

#14849196
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42213) - you deserved it (5213)

On 02/05/2011 at 4:32am - love - by em - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)

Today, I fell over a wet floor sign warning you not to fall over. The irony hurt more than the fall. FML

#14849029
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21904) - you deserved it (8918)

On 02/05/2011 at 4:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding things into its barrel. We then watched 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endured 4 hours of gun porn. FML

#14836344
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30343) - you deserved it (7367)

On 02/04/2011 at 2:59am - intimacy - by missbrit (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I was pissed that I got a £60 parking ticket so rang my friend to rant about it. I then got pulled over by the cops for using my phone, and was fined £120. FML

#14807320
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8806) - you deserved it (62648)

On 02/02/2011 at 2:12am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I wrote a 2000 word essay on "Las Vegas - The City That Never Sleeps". I was proud of my work, until someone pointed out that New York is "The City That Never Sleeps", not Vegas. FML

#14793954
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9435) - you deserved it (37938)

On 02/01/2011 at 5:35am - work - by mmaisie (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML

#14779730
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26484) - you deserved it (4693)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:34pm - animals - by birdguts (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he was just delaying while pleasuring himself to the sound of my voice. FML

#14775233
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32831) - you deserved it (3594)

On 01/30/2011 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by Milly (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

#14772330
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41359) - you deserved it (2730)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:46am - kids - by QuicksilverMaximoff (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I went to see the "Cirque du Soleil" at the Albert Hall. It was amazing, apparently. Of course I wouldn't know, because I left my glasses at the hotel, and was sitting at the very back row. FML

#14754857
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11235) - you deserved it (26387)

On 01/29/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by blind (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML

#14743872
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11717) - you deserved it (39154)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: