Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML

#18977119
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32644) - you deserved it (6173)

On 02/02/2012 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML

#18968998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37166) - you deserved it (3683)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by mareda (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML

#18954545
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24283) - you deserved it (2132)

On 01/30/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I hooked up with a guy I'm totally in love with. After finishing, he burst into tears about being in love with another girl. I had to comfort him. FML

#18940939
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33764) - you deserved it (5193)

On 01/29/2012 at 5:53am - intimacy - by random - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I finally made the last payment on the beautiful engagement ring I bought and proposed with - two years ago. To my ex-girlfriend, who said no and promptly started sleeping with one of my friends. FML

#18940800
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36562) - you deserved it (3027)

On 01/29/2012 at 4:55am - love - by brokeandsingle - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

#18929275
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7832) - you deserved it (55335)

On 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by smith (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

#18897176
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29981) - you deserved it (2827)

On 01/24/2012 at 6:47am - misc - by SpongeAbii2 - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, like every other day, my boss referred to my breasts as pillows he needs to nap on. FML

#18860090
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37375) - you deserved it (4789)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Emily27 (woman) - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35685) - you deserved it (5380)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house to myself. Wild parties? Hot girls? Loads of beer? No. Flu. FML

#18843444
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32174) - you deserved it (6447)

On 01/18/2012 at 10:29am - health - by partypooper (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML

#18836857
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28280) - you deserved it (4794)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Dooh (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38870) - you deserved it (15028)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

#18804066
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26136) - you deserved it (6273)

On 01/14/2012 at 9:31am - love - by iheartmorons - United Kingdom (London)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: