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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML

#15113643
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43722) - you deserved it (4212)

On 02/25/2011 at 11:03am - intimacy - by inder (woman) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, I attended the wrong funeral. I spent twenty minutes trying to hide and walk away without being too conspicuous. FML

#15112271
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24694) - you deserved it (7882)

On 02/25/2011 at 7:18am - misc - by Arlbethere (woman) - United Kingdom (Northumberland)

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML

#15102799
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28341) - you deserved it (4615)

On 02/24/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by OhDear (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was fired. My boss told me via email that it was because I "don't have enough experience with fun spiritual." Uh, what? FML

#15092237
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26227) - you deserved it (2369)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why I'd be angry if he had a foursome with 3 other people. FML

#15078175
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36769) - you deserved it (5115)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by Dilly_20 - United Kingdom

Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

#15055415
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38644) - you deserved it (2495)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, to wipe his crack, my boyfriend is still using a newspaper that I left there when he first started refusing to buy toilet paper. FML

#15025165
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22563) - you deserved it (5231)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:39am - health - by pandaface (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I got stuck in a small elevator. It started to violently judder up and down after I pressed the 'Help' buzzer. The man on the intercom wouldn't stop laughing at how my voice was jumpy from the juddering movements before he called for help. FML

#15019943
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23711) - you deserved it (2493)

On 02/17/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by stuckinalift (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

#15015231
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32375) - you deserved it (2865)

On 02/17/2011 at 11:33am - animals - by Aled (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

#15011616
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23217) - you deserved it (3659)

On 02/17/2011 at 12:58am - animals - by hannah (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

#15001986
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29515) - you deserved it (2816)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was bored. During sex. FML

#15001390
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (20597)

On 02/16/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML

#14963197
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25328) - you deserved it (3080)

On 02/13/2011 at 8:18pm - misc - by alice (woman) - United Kingdom



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