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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, a fly got stuck up my nose while I was giving a speech. FML

Today, my girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days. FML

#17794409
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40893) - you deserved it (4924)

On 09/21/2011 at 8:38am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, a guy who I hate commented on my Facebook profile picture that I "look like I've fallen off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." 60 people liked this, including my boyfriend and best friend. FML

#17787431
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36481) - you deserved it (7542)

On 09/20/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by chloeguest97 - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I found out that one of my university flatmates arrived early for Freshers Week, and had a party which involved the place being trashed. I'm going to lose some of my deposit for damage caused before I even arrived. FML

#17759197
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22962) - you deserved it (2003)

On 09/16/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by Authentik8 (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I had a graded performance in my drama class. I had to play a murderer in an interrogation room. I got really into it and started pounding on the windows to try to "escape". The thin glass smashed. Four hours in casualty, stitches and plastic surgery pretty much sum up my mood. FML

#17757780
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23620) - you deserved it (8800)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:18pm - health - by anonymous - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I noticed that when I sweat I smell like bacon. I'm a vegetarian. FML

#17756574
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21787) - you deserved it (10359)

On 09/16/2011 at 5:38am - misc - by sweatstreaks - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I found out that the engineers I work with believe that a woman with an engineering degree working in an engineering company is apparently equivalent to a "secretary for engineers." I am that woman. FML

#17734062
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29685) - you deserved it (3356)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:53am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML

#17727112
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31193) - you deserved it (12873)

On 09/12/2011 at 9:52am - animals - by squeak (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that a tornado is not the same thing as a hurricane. I couldn't convince him, and he still won't talk to me. FML

#17726304
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24911) - you deserved it (3427)

On 09/12/2011 at 4:07am - misc - by facepalm - United Kingdom

Today, I was talking to my ex. After pouring my heart out to her, saying we were meant for each other, she looked at me and said, "Don't bother, I've already slept with your brother." FML

#17725319
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37996) - you deserved it (4787)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by MTJY - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

#17720492
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33248) - you deserved it (2944)

On 09/11/2011 at 3:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look like someone had hit on me. FML

#17702973
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8937) - you deserved it (38435)

On 09/09/2011 at 8:10am - love - by Kevin (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML

#17702790
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28237) - you deserved it (4395)

On 09/09/2011 at 6:58am - intimacy - by psychicmother (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



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