Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML

#17633677
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27402) - you deserved it (4415)

On 09/01/2011 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27685) - you deserved it (10232)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I managed to get locked inside a caravan toilet. My relatives heard me having a panic attack and instead of unlocking the door, they called the neighbours over to enjoy my anguish and embarrassment. FML

#17627414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23506) - you deserved it (2739)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by RhuLynette - United Kingdom

Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML

#17620390
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20488) - you deserved it (3613)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:53am - misc - by gofixmyhead (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39279) - you deserved it (3562)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

#17606704
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32342) - you deserved it (9073)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML

#17594828
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7015) - you deserved it (60074)

On 08/27/2011 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML

#17584305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23134) - you deserved it (3625)

On 08/26/2011 at 6:41am - love - by the girlfriend (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML

#17563055
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29499) - you deserved it (5387)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:44pm - love - by Embarassed (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to switch my glass of coke with a glass of pure vinegar. FML

#17557483
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26947) - you deserved it (8767)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Skidaddle123 - United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire)

Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML

#17549982
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27817) - you deserved it (3942)

On 08/22/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by WTFwhywouldyoudothat - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

#17530831
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23579) - you deserved it (4955)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

#17521930
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30053) - you deserved it (5376)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm - love - by Jace - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: