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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after he gave me the 'let's just be friends' speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML

#17080368
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30480) - you deserved it (12316)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by Anonanon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#17017856
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55175) - you deserved it (3222)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML

#16997989
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39106) - you deserved it (5015)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my bedridden mother called me selfish. After an operation two weeks ago, all I've done is feed her, clean her and the house every day. She called me selfish because I couldn't lift a TV into her room. FML

#16977173
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31653) - you deserved it (2346)

On 07/04/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by Ashleighx94 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss yelled at me for ruining the report she was supposed to write with my "terrible spelling and grammar". I've checked it thoroughly, and all of her 'corrections' are wrong. She doesn’t believe me, and is refusing to look at a dictionary. FML

#16907603
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33395) - you deserved it (2363)

On 06/29/2011 at 8:59am - work - by frustrated (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my mum told me that my sister's little kiddie swing wouldn't hold my weight. I told her she was being stupid, and went on anyway. A broken ankle and two pins in my elbow later, I'm willing to accept this. FML

#16905617
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7742) - you deserved it (53728)

On 06/29/2011 at 2:12am - health - by Anza (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML

#16895867
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39961) - you deserved it (2692)

On 06/28/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by adopteddd (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my boyfriend tried to climb up to my third story window in the early hours of the morning. Just before he got to the top, he slipped and fell to the ground. My dad had to drive him to the hospital at 3am. FML

#16886506
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30677) - you deserved it (6894)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my 15 year old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML

#16872149
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29789) - you deserved it (4614)

On 06/26/2011 at 10:15pm - kids - by WalkingTalkingCarrot (man) - United Kingdom

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML

#16868176
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33023) - you deserved it (8221)

On 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm - love - by luni - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

#16862726
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46162) - you deserved it (10181)

On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

#16838665
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39973) - you deserved it (3911)

On 06/24/2011 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I complimented a girl on her stockings pattern. Turns out she wasn't wearing stockings. FML

#16797884
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28897) - you deserved it (8094)

On 06/22/2011 at 11:28am - misc - by jordeshting - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)



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