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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, whom I live with, told me that they did not get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

#15185278
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23997) - you deserved it (7564)

On 03/03/2011 at 9:21am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML

#15160394
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35333) - you deserved it (2373)

On 03/01/2011 at 5:41am - animals - by notacatperson (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13211) - you deserved it (34363)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML

#15151790
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31466) - you deserved it (3114)

On 02/28/2011 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML

#15113643
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43680) - you deserved it (4209)

On 02/25/2011 at 11:03am - intimacy - by inder (woman) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, I attended the wrong funeral. I spent twenty minutes trying to hide and walk away without being too conspicuous. FML

#15112271
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24456) - you deserved it (7854)

On 02/25/2011 at 7:18am - misc - by Arlbethere (woman) - United Kingdom (Northumberland)

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML

#15102799
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28314) - you deserved it (4612)

On 02/24/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by OhDear (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was fired. My boss told me via email that it was because I "don't have enough experience with fun spiritual." Uh, what? FML

#15092237
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (2368)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why I'd be angry if he had a foursome with 3 other people. FML

#15078175
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36732) - you deserved it (5114)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by Dilly_20 - United Kingdom

Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

#15055415
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38605) - you deserved it (2494)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, to wipe his crack, my boyfriend is still using a newspaper that I left there when he first started refusing to buy toilet paper. FML

#15025165
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22539) - you deserved it (5231)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:39am - health - by pandaface (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I got stuck in a small elevator. It started to violently judder up and down after I pressed the 'Help' buzzer. The man on the intercom wouldn't stop laughing at how my voice was jumpy from the juddering movements before he called for help. FML

#15019943
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (2492)

On 02/17/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by stuckinalift (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

#15015231
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32329) - you deserved it (2861)

On 02/17/2011 at 11:33am - animals - by Aled (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)



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