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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML

#17981114
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20270) - you deserved it (2509)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:22am - love - by Jessy - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

#17975450
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30734) - you deserved it (3781)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

#17974587
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22597) - you deserved it (2588)

On 10/13/2011 at 11:55am - animals - by Doglover - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

#17967494
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29305) - you deserved it (2610)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:55pm - misc - by Lauren - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to change the batteries of my automatic room freshener. As I held it to my face to figure out where the batteries went, it started spraying on my face. FML

#17965758
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10490) - you deserved it (26006)

On 10/12/2011 at 3:17am - misc - by spoiled22 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend rekindled the romance with his ex, at my 21st birthday party. One of the few reasons I'd invited her was to show that I trusted him, and I no longer felt threatened by their continued friendship. FML

#17958984
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33542) - you deserved it (8150)

On 10/11/2011 at 10:22am - love - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

#17952453
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (3236)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I listened as my ridiculously wealthy friend excitedly rambled on and on about her latest shopping trip. This is the same friend who owes me £150, and accused me of being insensitive for asking her to repay it at some point. FML

#17928398
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28262) - you deserved it (3644)

On 10/07/2011 at 3:02pm - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML

#17927200
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26922) - you deserved it (3289)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:58am - work - by Dr.Octopus454 (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML

#17912138
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8446) - you deserved it (33454)

On 10/05/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Lyingg (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I told a guy at work about my boyfriend. His immediate response was to ask me if I was making him up. He's the third person to react this way. FML

#17910892
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27032) - you deserved it (3606)

On 10/05/2011 at 12:03pm - work - by UglyApparently (woman) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, my younger cousin bought his girlfriend of 3 months a bunch of flowers. The only flower I've ever got from my boyfriend of 3 years is a plastic one he found on the floor in a bar. FML

#17904987
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22894) - you deserved it (3898)

On 10/04/2011 at 5:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

#17897207
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31978) - you deserved it (5069)

On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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