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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They locked me out for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML

#18138083
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38260) - you deserved it (4170)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by miley098 - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML

#18119295
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34000) - you deserved it (4132)

On 10/31/2011 at 6:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, while trying to get my phone to charge, I shoved in the cable harder and harder and tried to wobble it so my phone would charge. After snapping the USB input from the force, I saw the plug was switched off. FML

#18106914
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6295) - you deserved it (38564)

On 10/29/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Poole)

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML

#18101877
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13303) - you deserved it (43037)

On 10/29/2011 at 7:32am - love - by duped (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I was in a rush and had to get changed in a train restroom. While changing, I leaned against the button that opened the door. Not only do train toilet doors open and close very slowly, leaving you half naked for a few seconds, but everyone in the carriage opposite can see clearly. FML

#18090204
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21570) - you deserved it (3694)

On 10/27/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by omgomgomg (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. The only way I could have gotten pregnant is from having gotten drunk and sleeping with my ex. We broke up because I didn't want children. FML

#18088166
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12287) - you deserved it (51132)

On 10/27/2011 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

#18078802
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24673) - you deserved it (4161)

On 10/26/2011 at 4:58am - misc - by MereLewis95 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML

#18065493
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24450) - you deserved it (4413)

On 10/24/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I uploaded my latest picture onto a photography website. It only got one comment, and even that was from someone advising me to never use the same hideous model ever again. It was a self-portrait. FML

#18054599
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26583) - you deserved it (4248)

On 10/23/2011 at 2:05pm - misc - by fuglyphotographer (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

#18037995
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49902) - you deserved it (3885)

On 10/21/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by prostitutes boyfriend - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to lecture is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

#18025254
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (9054)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm - work - by Habit - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML

#18021028
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23384) - you deserved it (19977)

On 10/19/2011 at 1:38am - work - by derbyboy - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, on my first day of being a trainee teacher in a classroom, I told a boy to stop using that stupid accent or else I'll give him a detention. Turns out he just moved here from Romania. FML

#18014852
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8754) - you deserved it (69007)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:08pm - kids - by KillMeNow (man) - United Kingdom (Sefton)



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