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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

TODAY , MAH RALIGIOUS PARANTS WARA HOSTING A FAMILY DINNAR!! NOT ONLY DID WA HAVA TO WAIT OVAR AN HOUR FIR MAH GRANDMA TO FINALLY SHOW UP , BUTHAN SHA DID , SHA HAD HAR 30 YAAR OLD BOYTOY IN TOW!! APPARANTLY , ( GRANNY HAS NAADS TOO U KNOW , HAHAHA! ) GOODBYA PAACAFUL FAMILY!! FML

#17471582
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25870) - you deserved it (2879)

On 08/14/2011 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

TODAY , I WENT TO A PARTY. I TRID DANCING IN PUBLIC FIR THE FIRST TIME EVER. JUDGING BY THE WHISPERS , STARES AND GIGGLES , I'M NEVER DOING IT AGAIN. FML

#17465639
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27628) - you deserved it (4709)

On 08/14/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by Travolta - United Kingdom

yesterday I cummed ome to find ma ouse destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I ad spent days and-crafting te ouse to perfection, down to te finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

Today... I came home from looool holiday... only to fine my house full of small decomposing animals... courtesy of my cat.

#17458169
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24444) - you deserved it (4761)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:22am - animals - by Ellencrazee (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me.

#17448755
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31014) - you deserved it (2692)

On 08/12/2011 at 9:14am - kids - by LuckySperm (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today , I was camping with family , and had to share a tent with 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee , but instead of going outside to use the bathroom , he zipped open a section of the tent , stuck his knob through it , and peed all over shoes that were drying outside. FML

#17431437
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29296) - you deserved it (2743)

On 08/10/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by jakethed0g (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my neigbor from across te road pond me at work telling me tere was a fire engine outside my ouse and a lot of smoke. I drove ome in a panic, smasing a rear ligt on a post and getting flasd by a sped camera. It wasn't my ouse. Te firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. big fat FML

#17405382
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24055) - you deserved it (5773)

On 08/08/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by wahhh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically !! fat FML

#17388781
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24499) - you deserved it (3454)

On 08/06/2011 at 4:39pm - kids - by Tabby (woman) - United Kingdom

my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

#17380404
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36478) - you deserved it (3522)

On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

today I discovered that arbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look . big fat FML

#17375706
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23002) - you deserved it (3988)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:57am - health - by jbthedude - United Kingdom (Dorset)

my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount ofhiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. mega FML

#17365411
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13933) - you deserved it (57075)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, the closest I cummd to doing something that could be vaguely construd as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometime simultaneously. FML

#17361145
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10431) - you deserved it (24325)

On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today , I Was Really Excited Because The Grl I'd Liked Since Freshman Year Asked Me Out!! She Came To Mah House And Mah Mom Decided To Show Her Baby Pictures Of Me With Tampons Up Mah Nose Because I'd Had A Nose Bleed!! Even Worse , There Was One Picture Of Mehen I Was 15 Doing The Same Thing!! FML

#17307375
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29716) - you deserved it (9071)

On 07/30/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by tamponface (man) - United Kingdom



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