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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, at the age of 17, I had my first kiss with the girl I've liked for over a year. However, it was a stage kiss and the girl has made it clear that she finds me repulsive. FML

#15987403
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36953) - you deserved it (4091)

On 04/30/2011 at 4:51am - misc - by Username - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

#15978808
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17675) - you deserved it (52186)

On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML

#15967561
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31562) - you deserved it (3127)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:13pm - work - by srsly_what (man) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

#15958012
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18382) - you deserved it (25896)

On 04/28/2011 at 12:04am - work - by tryandtryagain (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65484) - you deserved it (7377)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, a kid with severe Down's came into my workplace, as he does every day. He's has an obsession with me, sitting at a table, staring and taking photos of me all day. His parents have no problem with this, because they think it's a miracle that he can focus so much attention on me for so long. FML

#15935397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34512) - you deserved it (5932)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by notimpressed (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

#15932623
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21098) - you deserved it (46653)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:56am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, the ex-girlfriend I'm still in love with sent me an old picture with the caption, "I miss us." She looked beautiful and happy. Too bad I'm not the guy she's kissing in the picture. FML

#15930581
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40694) - you deserved it (3396)

On 04/26/2011 at 2:18am - love - by SadGuy - United Kingdom

Today, I got a letter back from the family I will be staying with as a part of an exchange program. Apparently they own a slaughterhouse type farm, and I'm expected to kill one of their animals and eat it as a gift from the family. I'm a vegan. FML

#15927164
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36554) - you deserved it (17442)

On 04/25/2011 at 10:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML

#15917797
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49766) - you deserved it (9140)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:49am - love - by Jade (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my boyfriend forgot to tell me about the all-night bender he went out on, and what he got up to with my best friend. But its okay; the Facebook pictures say it all. FML

#15895207
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33198) - you deserved it (3232)

On 04/23/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML

#15879930
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32165) - you deserved it (3029)

On 04/21/2011 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I went to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The day before, I was too anxious to eat anything, so I went in with an empty stomach. There were complications during the extraction and now I'm not allowed to eat for the next 24 hours. FML

#15873960
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29696) - you deserved it (8912)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)



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