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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend's band has become quite popular on YouTube. My friends and sister won't stop singing their songs. Most of them were written after I dumped him, and go on to say how much better off he is without me and how horrible I am. FML

#16495662
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31440) - you deserved it (21816)

On 06/04/2011 at 7:35am - love - by guttedgirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

#16480333
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43496) - you deserved it (4591)

On 06/03/2011 at 6:17am - intimacy - by peaaaak (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

#16474774
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36841) - you deserved it (2967)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm - work - by corn - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML

#16466098
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30728) - you deserved it (2676)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I bought a car. After just ten minutes, my hub caps had been stolen. FML

#16458606
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27062) - you deserved it (2909)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:25pm - money - by GTR - United Kingdom

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

#16450721
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14956) - you deserved it (43061)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I got so stressed about my upcoming final exams that, in the silent section of the library, I had a panic attack and almost passed out. No one helped me. 3 people shushed me. FML

#16384054
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31090) - you deserved it (8633)

On 05/28/2011 at 8:20am - work - by justletitbeover (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at work, nonchalantly spinning my keys around my finger when they flew off and hit a glass cabinet. Broken glass showered passing customers. I don't think I'll have a job to go to tomorrow. FML

#16359885
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22062) - you deserved it (18439)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:26pm - work - by kernewek (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML

#16359645
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35647) - you deserved it (7031)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm - animals - by KittenTime (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML

#16354209
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30825) - you deserved it (2657)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:48am - misc - by smarterthanmymum - United Kingdom

Today, my mom asked if I was seeing anyone. I launched into a description of my girlfriend, only for her to interrupt, saying that she meant a therapist, and the fact that I'd just made up a relationship was further proof that I needed one. I really do have a girlfriend. FML

#16353801
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39055) - you deserved it (3401)

On 05/26/2011 at 3:53am - love - by lovingpsychosis - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

#16342840
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44829) - you deserved it (4748)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Brilliant... (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my dad came to my graduate art show wearing a t-shirt saying "My other daughter is a science major". He'd had it specially made. FML

#16341041
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38972) - you deserved it (6928)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by art_major (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)



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