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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML

#17874555
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22507) - you deserved it (4455)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my violent housemate qualified for a gun license. She picks up her bolt-action rifle on Wednesday. FML

#17863556
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26129) - you deserved it (2695)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Help. (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull)

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

#17861769
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9977) - you deserved it (21860)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:04am - work - by AngerManagement - United Kingdom

Today, my co-workers agreed that I was the one causing the elevator to be over its weight limit. When I protested, saying that I only weigh around 150 pounds, one asked me if that included the weight of my wheelchair. They made me get out. FML

#17861695
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41084) - you deserved it (2881)

On 09/29/2011 at 3:34am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML

#17839190
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31365) - you deserved it (2580)

On 09/26/2011 at 1:06pm - love - by happybirthday (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

#17838831
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37471) - you deserved it (7036)

On 09/26/2011 at 11:35am - intimacy - by Oops (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

#17818557
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43136) - you deserved it (4381)

On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had my car valeted at my hotel. The manager came out, took my keys, and said the car would be waiting for me in an hour. I was then forced to watch from the lobby as the "manager" sped off downtown. FML

#17812244
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23289) - you deserved it (5536)

On 09/23/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by hatty - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, I was introducing my American cousin to the peaceful English village I live in. Just as I was reassuring her that the people were very friendly and welcoming, a car drove past and pelted us with eggs. FML

#17811386
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23177) - you deserved it (2764)

On 09/23/2011 at 4:31am - misc - by egghead - United Kingdom

Today, a fly got stuck up my nose while I was giving a speech. FML

Today, my girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days. FML

#17794409
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40839) - you deserved it (4917)

On 09/21/2011 at 8:38am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, a guy who I hate commented on my Facebook profile picture that I "look like I've fallen off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." 60 people liked this, including my boyfriend and best friend. FML

#17787431
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36434) - you deserved it (7534)

On 09/20/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by chloeguest97 - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I found out that one of my university flatmates arrived early for Freshers Week, and had a party which involved the place being trashed. I'm going to lose some of my deposit for damage caused before I even arrived. FML

#17759197
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22813) - you deserved it (1997)

On 09/16/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by Authentik8 (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)



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