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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend of two years has been cheating on me for over five months, including while I was deployed to Afghanistan. FML

Today, I found out apparently I sleep walk. My boyfriend has been filming me and uploading it all to Youtube. FML

#14356668
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22286) - you deserved it (3670)

On 12/27/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I tried to contact my birth mother, who abandoned me when I was three weeks old. After months of tracing, I finally plucked up the courage to call her. She told me to "f*ck off and die". FML

#14310097
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46696) - you deserved it (6335)

On 12/23/2010 at 11:13am - misc - by unfortunategeek - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

#14297288
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (4725)

On 12/22/2010 at 11:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, the highlight of my day was someone prank-calling me. FML

#14297205
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17657) - you deserved it (4556)

On 12/22/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, I looked deep into my wife's eyes and told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. Her reply was "Clean your glasses." FML

#14284829
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25025) - you deserved it (3539)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my 14 year-old son sent a broadcast on my blackberry saying ''I'm a young gay man looking for some fun!'' to all my contacts as a joke. What he didn't know was that it's my work phone. FML

#14284329
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32170) - you deserved it (4711)

On 12/21/2010 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML

#14272532
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8230) - you deserved it (51751)

On 12/20/2010 at 1:08pm - work - by Chloe - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML

#14263192
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45630) - you deserved it (2830)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:31pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I discovered that the painful eczema I get every winter was actually being caused by the moisturising cream I use to treat it. FML

#14221798
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23972) - you deserved it (3649)

On 12/16/2010 at 7:06am - health - by spleg (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was listening to music while I wrapped Christmas presents. All was going well when the music was cut off, literally. I snipped the cable to my very expensive headphones in half. FML

#14212477
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9390) - you deserved it (22355)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:22pm - money - by Username - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

#14205128
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21182) - you deserved it (19255)

On 12/14/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, after months of dieting, I finally reached my goal weight. Excitedly I told my boyfriend, who gave me a beautiful dress as an early Christmas present. It was a size too small. FML

#14179989
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24563) - you deserved it (4455)

On 12/12/2010 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)



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