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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML

#16868176
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32971) - you deserved it (8212)

On 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm - love - by luni - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

#16862726
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44540) - you deserved it (9956)

On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

#16838665
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38288) - you deserved it (3796)

On 06/24/2011 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I complimented a girl on her stockings pattern. Turns out she wasn't wearing stockings. FML

#16797884
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28822) - you deserved it (8088)

On 06/22/2011 at 11:28am - misc - by jordeshting - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my boyfriend bought me Kings of Leon tickets for my birthday. Since he thought I was irresponsible, he gave the tickets to his mum so I wouldn't lose them. The show is today, and we can't find the tickets. FML

#16794294
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30632) - you deserved it (3602)

On 06/22/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by MollyMoodle7 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I have an eight hour transatlantic flight and the person sitting next to me has already filled his third sick bag. This wouldn't be quite so bad were we not still at the terminal with passengers still boarding the plane. FML

#16714444
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31547) - you deserved it (2131)

On 06/17/2011 at 4:23pm - misc - by ajdown (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I dropped my camera into water. The good news is that it's waterproof. The bad news is I dropped it off London Bridge. All the pictures and videos of my four-month trip around Europe were on it. FML

#16708648
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41891) - you deserved it (10834)

On 06/17/2011 at 7:32am - misc - by catherine - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML

#16697911
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30297) - you deserved it (3260)

On 06/16/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by vampire (woman) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36783) - you deserved it (14265)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML

#16657844
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34605) - you deserved it (3336)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:47am - misc - by lalala (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend had been encouraging me to send him 'personal' videos was so he could sell them online to porn websites. FML

#16646185
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46638) - you deserved it (18194)

On 06/13/2011 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by secretpornstar - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I went into work for the first time without make-up. My boss thought I looked so tired and ill that he sent me home. FML

#16624157
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35523) - you deserved it (7377)

On 06/12/2011 at 7:46am - work - by FreshFaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my dog surprised everyone by somehow managing to climb on the roof. I followed him up and spent the next hour trying to catch him. FML

#16597604
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25711) - you deserved it (3869)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:39pm - animals - by crazydog (woman) - United Kingdom



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