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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I had to sit and listen to my co-worker moan about how early he has to get up tomorrow to go on his ski holiday in France over Christmas. He also complained about how tiring skiing is. FML

#18560117
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29648) - you deserved it (2100)

On 12/20/2011 at 6:54am - work - by dogwheels - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

#18547021
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21199) - you deserved it (16787)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? His best mate got dumped yesterday and my boyfriend thought it would be 'more fun' to be 'single lads together'. FML

#18513087
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31579) - you deserved it (2995)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:00pm - love - by dumped (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after returning to the UK from my Australian holiday, I was fired from my job for no reason. My boss told me he'd waited till I'd returned to do it. I could have stayed in Australia with my mates traveling for a year if I had been fired before I left. I'm sure he did it on purpose. FML

#18510886
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32002) - you deserved it (2651)

On 12/14/2011 at 11:53am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I called in sick at work because I have the flu. This is my first sick day in the 2 years I've worked there. It's also the day the CEO made a surprise visit. My co-workers all got generous salary increases, and some of them promotions. I'm not included, simply because I wasn't there. FML

Today, I was out selling Christmas-themed calendars for charity door-to-door. I rang a doorbell and a wild-eyed man appeared at the door, shouted about being "on nights" and that I'd woken him up, called me a "bell end", threw a newspaper at me and slammed the door in my face. FML

#18492727
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14841) - you deserved it (26922)

On 12/12/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by firemansam - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML

#18479274
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (3883)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - work - by Poorman (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11069) - you deserved it (71646)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML

#18439868
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26675) - you deserved it (5249)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for years asked if I could be her "emergency gay friend". Worst part? I said yes. FML

#18425208
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26341) - you deserved it (24118)

On 12/04/2011 at 3:36am - love - by lifesucksbigtimefuys - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML

#18417580
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34181) - you deserved it (2983)

On 12/03/2011 at 6:23am - intimacy - by djkimmaz - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML

#18417411
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32300) - you deserved it (7757)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



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