Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I had to stand up on a train for my 4-hour journey. Why? Two pregnant women flew into unbridled rage with me over sitting in the priority seating, saying I was selfish. I'm recovering from spinal surgery. FML

#21474057
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30499) - you deserved it (2114)

On 09/29/2015 at 4:33am - health - by hunchbackofnotredamn (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead". FML

#21473642
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23463) - you deserved it (4416)

On 09/28/2015 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a love letter during class and told him to read it when he got home. He texted me later asking me why I gave him my school assignment. I must have handed the love letter in to my teacher. FML

#21472551
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25676) - you deserved it (7250)

On 09/25/2015 at 9:46am - love - by helpme (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML

#21472345
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22727) - you deserved it (2137)

On 09/24/2015 at 7:31pm - misc - by whatdidimarry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my ex came out as transgender. I had absolutely no problem with this, in fact I celebrated her bravery. What I did have a problem with was all my friends immediately assuming that this was the reason I broke up with her, and not that she'd cheated on me for 6 months. FML

#21471735
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25292) - you deserved it (1764)

On 09/23/2015 at 4:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML

#21471529
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26407) - you deserved it (1770)

On 09/22/2015 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I turned 25. I'm single, still living at home and doing an unpaid internship in an industry I have no interest in, because it was the only accepted application after 6 months of unemployment. The daily 45-minute drive means I'm losing money every week for being "employed" with a PhD. FML

#21471046
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22830) - you deserved it (2742)

On 09/21/2015 at 3:09pm - work - by experience_to_get_experience (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, during a work meeting, my boss leaned over to me and whispered, "I suggest we fuck". FML

#21470740
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27405) - you deserved it (2282)

On 09/20/2015 at 7:59pm - intimacy - by M - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, I found out the real cause of what I assumed was a healthy increase in my teenage daughter's appetite lately. Some fine young gentlemen with a fat fetish convinced her start gaining weight so they could jack off to her. FML

#21469886
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26119) - you deserved it (1883)

On 09/18/2015 at 1:03pm - kids - by bluep313 - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML

#21469191
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25696) - you deserved it (1746)

On 09/16/2015 at 2:26pm - animals - by Urinator - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I filled up my company car with my own debit card, instead of my fuel card. It was the last £40 I had for the month. FML

#21468974
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20361) - you deserved it (6503)

On 09/15/2015 at 10:02pm - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while eating at my college cafeteria, I started thinking about all the awful crap going on in my life right now, and I started sobbing. Some guy at another table started snickering at me, at which point the guy I like said, "Give her a break. If I was as fuck-ugly as her, I'd be crying too." FML

#21467918
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (2483)

On 09/13/2015 at 9:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML

#21467902
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25703) - you deserved it (3101)

On 09/13/2015 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Queen LaQueefah (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: