FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I was out shopping with my son and unbeknownst to me, he had secretly added a bunch of expensive games he wanted to the trolley. I was too embarrassed at the till to make a fuss as there was a huge line behind me. I watched as my normal £50 shopping bill climbed to over £400. FML

by pissed off mother / 05/05/2016 at 1:55pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Money

Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2016 at 10:15am / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Kids

Today, I tried to charge my phone at school by removing the socket for the fan. All the computers in the room turned off. I accidentally removed the power cables for the computers and got suspended. FML

by JoshWontonDo / 05/03/2016 at 11:06am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I want on a date with a man I met on the internet. While talking over drinks, I asked him what he did for a living. He said he was a salesman, and that he's really good at it. Interested, I asked him what it was he sold. "Cannabis." FML

by socksxox / 05/02/2016 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I discovered that the "hot, slutty, woman" my room mate has been dating is my mom. FML

by ShouldICallYouDaddy / 04/30/2016 at 7:49am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy

Today, some guy woke me up at 5.30am by yelling outside my window. I opened the window and told him to knock it off before going back to bed. It took a good 3 minutes of his laughter before I realised I was naked and he got a close-up view of my breasts. FML

Today, I missed an interview to work in a school as a teacher's assistant because the email inviting me to attend got buried among the spam emails. Oh well, back to my usual job as an assistant janitor. Yes, that's right, assistant janitor. It's the same job as a real janitor, but for less pay. FML

by oh, feck off / 04/27/2016 at 9:02am / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Work

Today, I thought that working as a lifeguard I would be saving lives, rescuing people and things along those lines. What do I get told to do on my first shift? Clean all the fecal matter and hair out the pool. I almost threw up. FML

by TheLifguard95 / 04/26/2016 at 7:49pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, while trying to open the packaging to my new headphones, I got startled by my cat suddenly meowing and cut through the headphone wire. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2016 at 1:38am / United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin) / Animals

Today, I found out my psycho ex also reads FML. She called me at work, pissed that I'd "publicly humiliated" her on here. I haven't posted about her at all. I'm sure the brick I found thrown through my window a few hours later has nothing to do with her, though. FML

by just die already / 04/24/2016 at 5:55am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, 5 minutes before I had to leave for school, my friends convinced me it was "pajama day" at school. I showed up in slippers and Sponge Bob pajamas. My school wouldn't let me go home to change. FML

by rhiannakirwan / 04/17/2016 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend told me she no longer wants an "active friendship" with me. She says she doesn't have time to see me, since she has a boyfriend and a bunch of friends she's spent years bitching to me about. We've gone from a 14 year friendship to awkwardly nodding at each other in the street. FML

by BFFN / 04/14/2016 at 11:36am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend asked me for advice on how to break up with her boyfriend. I've never done it before so I googled it, my own boyfriend happened to walk in and now isn't speaking to me. He won't believe me when I say it was "for a friend." FML

by howtobreakup / 04/11/2016 at 12:39pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Love