Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I laid in bed until 3am kept up by a house party. In my own house. Which my housemates didn't invite me to. FML

#21425804
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24907) - you deserved it (3023)

On 06/14/2015 at 4:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

#21425055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25880) - you deserved it (4556)

On 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, the main file and backups of the book I've been writing for 2 and a half years mysteriously vanished. It turned out my mum decided that me spending so much time in my room must mean I'm watching porn, and so she trashed everything. FML

#21424410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29186) - you deserved it (2009)

On 06/11/2015 at 10:37am - misc - by 4lphab3t4 (man) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, I asked my boss for a couple of days off to recover from a nasty ear infection which has left me hard of hearing. However, he didn't understand why that would affect my job and refused. I work in a telephone call centre. FML

#21423846
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27874) - you deserved it (1804)

On 06/10/2015 at 9:26am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my boss of 2 years not only doesn't know my name, but calls me "Jew hair" behind my back because of my natural ringlets. This man determines all of my career progression. FML

#21423649
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23372) - you deserved it (1535)

On 06/09/2015 at 11:21pm - work - by hmdge1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Doncaster)

Today, I had to show my ID to prove I was over 18. I was buying teaspoons. FML

#21423486
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24218) - you deserved it (1612)

On 06/09/2015 at 6:30pm - misc - by I-love-my-tea - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my boss yelled at me for being 3 hours late. I was late because I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. Apparently, breaking my arm is not a good enough excuse. FML

#21423323
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27170) - you deserved it (1910)

On 06/09/2015 at 12:12pm - work - by MoonStarShine3 - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML

#21422763
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22945) - you deserved it (2063)

On 06/08/2015 at 10:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I took my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said "Never take a shit in this place! Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

#21421640
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26095) - you deserved it (2355)

On 06/06/2015 at 3:32am - work - by justin bieber's nutsack (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML

#21420192
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25834) - you deserved it (5478)

On 06/03/2015 at 11:46am - health - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom

Today, I uploaded a photo of myself at the beach on Facebook. The first comment it got was "Wow!! If I was 20 yrs younger, oh boy ;)". Yeah, thanks for that, grandpa. FML

#21418445
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (2661)

On 05/31/2015 at 5:13am - misc - by disgusting (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, tears and 3 hours on the toilet have made me reevaluate my desire for new culinary experiences. FML

#21417945
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (2598)

On 05/30/2015 at 6:59am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I learned one of life's great lessons: it is possible to squeeze a Ketchup bottle so hard that the plastic breaks and everything lands on your face. FML

#21417490
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23545) - you deserved it (5913)

On 05/29/2015 at 6:58am - misc - by sassy_girl144 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: