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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I made an excuse and didn't turn up at work. Little did I know my boss did the same. We both bumped into each other at the shopping centre across town. FML

#21185382
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38634) - you deserved it (23208)

On 06/23/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by AGB10 - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML

#21184361
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45800) - you deserved it (4605)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:06pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41296) - you deserved it (3753)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#21182128
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48358) - you deserved it (8268)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML

#21182108
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41832) - you deserved it (4247)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:00pm - health - by blackchin III (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

#21178277
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43278) - you deserved it (4106)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by the lannisters send their retards - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I feel massively depressed, but I can't talk to anyone about it as I'm British. FML

#21177849
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35626) - you deserved it (10013)

On 06/17/2014 at 8:26am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

#21175587
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57241) - you deserved it (5287)

On 06/15/2014 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML

#21175255
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43692) - you deserved it (5543)

On 06/15/2014 at 7:10am - love - by ToddlersWife - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I had to stand in line for twenty minutes at the bank, in between two of my ex-boyfriends. FML

#21168070
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47784) - you deserved it (10312)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

#21166318
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46562) - you deserved it (4688)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by yepintheladiesroom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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