Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I got an expensive return bus ticket to visit my family 200 miles away. I accidentally tore the ticket when taking it from the machine, but the driver said not to worry, as it would still be accepted on the way back. Guess who's still 200 miles from home. FML

#21386064
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25472) - you deserved it (2088)

On 04/01/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by dumbbus - United Kingdom (Stockton-on-Tees)

Today, I was sent the script to a play I'm participating in at school. After reading it a couple of times, I noticed that my part has been forgotten completely. FML

#21386014
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (1695)

On 04/01/2015 at 6:09pm - misc - by ThirteenThirteen (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML

#21385195
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23479) - you deserved it (4282)

On 04/01/2015 at 3:40am - intimacy - by zetuga (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I was sitting in a library when a cute boy approached me, so I grabbed the nearest book. When he asked me what I was reading, I said I was revising for an English test. He laughed and pointed out that my book was in French. FML

#21384778
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15121) - you deserved it (18092)

On 03/31/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by ip7 - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, while waiting for the bus, I googled walking directions to my destination, in case I had already missed the bus. I was so absorbed in my search that I missed the bus. FML

#21384017
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18267) - you deserved it (23454)

On 03/30/2015 at 5:19am - misc - by getoffthephone - United Kingdom

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

#21382942
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26998) - you deserved it (1849)

On 03/28/2015 at 11:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

#21380370
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26229) - you deserved it (13957)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by Li - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, we got CCTV fitted in our store. My lovely boss told me he'll be spending his free time watching the footage on his phone to know what I get up to when he's not in. FML

#21379507
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22388) - you deserved it (2497)

On 03/22/2015 at 2:19pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML

#21378919
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27323) - you deserved it (2239)

On 03/21/2015 at 12:47pm - misc - by poop - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was playing charades with my boyfriend and family. The answer was "Beckoning" so I acted it out with a "come here" gesture. He looked confused for a second, then blurted out "Fingering?" FML

#21378887
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28633) - you deserved it (3409)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by ajodasdojsad (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend she's too good for me, then asking if she wants to settle for someone like me. FML

#21378798
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27922) - you deserved it (2194)

On 03/21/2015 at 4:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25871) - you deserved it (3096)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24963) - you deserved it (70)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: