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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, four days before Christmas, I discovered a rash on my daughter's shoulder. The doctor took one look and said, "It's chicken pox. Merry Christmas." FML

#21506142
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21273) - you deserved it (1814)

On 12/21/2015 at 6:45am - kids - by BadLuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my perfectly healthy grandmother came to stay for Christmas. First, she persuaded my family to give her my bedroom. That would have been fine, until she demanded she should also have a bucket to piss in under my bed too. FML

#21504325
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20231) - you deserved it (1294)

On 12/16/2015 at 3:58am - health - by chamberpottime (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML

#21504126
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18066) - you deserved it (3132)

On 12/15/2015 at 6:39pm - health - by sorethumb - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I got a concussion at work. Our resident schizophrenic decided to test how gravity worked by dropping a torch over the bannister directly onto my head. I'm still seeing stars. FML

Today, I found out my credit card was maxed out to the penny, all thanks to purchases made on an online wine store. Apparently my mother was thirsty enough to steal from her own son. FML

#21502573
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21893) - you deserved it (1418)

On 12/11/2015 at 11:34am - money - by KamiAzaaaaaa (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I've become so accustomed to finding my sister drunk or otherwise passed out in the same spot in the living room that every time I go in there, I instinctively lift my feet higher as though to step over her, even when she's not there. FML

#21502057
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20979) - you deserved it (1557)

On 12/09/2015 at 9:59pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my ex, for whom I still have feelings, introduced me to his new girlfriend. To make things "less awkward," he invited a mutual friend of ours. However, the last time I'd seen this friend, it was a week after my ex and I had broke up, and we hooked up. Awkward doesn't cover it. FML

#21501584
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21092) - you deserved it (5171)

On 12/08/2015 at 6:08pm - love - by neverleavingthehouseagain (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I confronted my friend about the £260 he owes me. He got offended and said, "Friends don't have to pay back." He called me selfish and walked off. FML

#21501579
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21928) - you deserved it (2017)

On 12/08/2015 at 5:56pm - money - by *sigh* - United Kingdom

Today, after years of loneliness, I met the most amazing girl on Omegle. We spoke for ages and really clicked. But before either of us could exchange numbers, I lost my internet connection and her along with it. FML

#21500041
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23953) - you deserved it (3084)

On 12/04/2015 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

#21498941
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27796) - you deserved it (3508)

On 12/01/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by BUSTED. - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I felt like Cinderella. No, I didn't lose a shoe in public. Nor did I dance with Prince Charming. But I did get a visit from tiny wild mice in my home. FML

#21498518
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20454) - you deserved it (2558)

On 11/30/2015 at 11:07am - animals - by ModernCindy - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I won a meal for two in a raffle. I had no one to go with. FML

#21496724
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22485) - you deserved it (2002)

On 11/25/2015 at 4:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

#21495098
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30463) - you deserved it (4166)

On 11/21/2015 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)



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