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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I had to stand in line for twenty minutes at the bank, in between two of my ex-boyfriends. FML

#21168070
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47258) - you deserved it (10162)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

#21166318
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45611) - you deserved it (4665)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by yepintheladiesroom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I entered my late twenties. My hair's falling out and I'm putting on weight at light speed. At least I can keep my youthful appearance with the acne I still suffer from. FML

#21163683
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40909) - you deserved it (4590)

On 06/05/2014 at 7:12am - misc - by hifhfan (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML

#21162663
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42170) - you deserved it (3497)

On 06/04/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, a customer told me, "Girls your size can't bend at the waist." I couldn't stop laughing at the imagery long enough to be really offended. FML

#21161933
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34320) - you deserved it (5043)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by jennythezebra (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML

#21161846
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42172) - you deserved it (3615)

On 06/03/2014 at 4:44pm - work - by maleficunt (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML

#21161395
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40917) - you deserved it (15518)

On 06/03/2014 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, despite years of paranoid checking, I forgot to check my towel for spiders after my shower. Two crawled onto me, and I'm pretty sure there's one somewhere in my hair. FML

#21161379
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39888) - you deserved it (4918)

On 06/03/2014 at 4:56am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46776) - you deserved it (4935)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

#21158075
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53706) - you deserved it (7355)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:40am - love - by damn it rose (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, freshly dumped and at a bar, I focussed my attention on trying to stand in such a way that I looked like an attractive, alluring, confident person. Apparently I forgot how to successfully stand upright and sprained my ankle. FML

#21157984
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36654) - you deserved it (9221)

On 05/31/2014 at 5:13am - health - by jjcod (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, for the first time in my life, my dad said he was proud of me. It meant a lot to me, and I started tearing up. Noticing my emotion, he looked at me pityingly, said "Aaaaand it's gone." and walked out of the room. FML

#21157338
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40049) - you deserved it (6059)

On 05/30/2014 at 5:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my psycho, animal-hating neighbour "accidentally" ran over my cat. This is the second time he's "accidentally" done this to a neighbourhood pet since he moved in, three weeks ago. FML

#21157136
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45599) - you deserved it (3400)

On 05/30/2014 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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