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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65342) - you deserved it (12158)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

#20712090
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61167) - you deserved it (8470)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months moved in to my apartment. I had never been to his place because his roommate was a drug addict, so it came as quite a surprise when he brought three taxidermied cats with him, insisting that I let him mount them in the living room. FML

#20711674
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34538) - you deserved it (10296)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

#20708141
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76838) - you deserved it (10294)

On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49317) - you deserved it (3449)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was on the tram, when an elderly couple got on. I stood up to give them room to sit together, but as I stood up, the tram set off and I went flying, knocking the elderly gentleman over. FML

#20707500
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45457) - you deserved it (3748)

On 06/05/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by Bookworm (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

#20707414
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40543) - you deserved it (13008)

On 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by SHIT-BREATH (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80500) - you deserved it (7664)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I started seeing a therapist for my depression. While I was looking through the magazines in the waiting room, I found an article accusing people who see therapists of being selfish and having no real problems. FML

#20703027
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42839) - you deserved it (5046)

On 06/03/2013 at 7:56am - health - by Selfish Whiner (woman) - United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire)

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML

#20701776
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41450) - you deserved it (6805)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML

#20698103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43214) - you deserved it (4705)

On 05/31/2013 at 8:50pm - money - by speechless (man) - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML

#20697858
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36047) - you deserved it (3960)

On 05/31/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML

#20695533
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44080) - you deserved it (5262)

On 05/30/2013 at 4:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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