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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44772) - you deserved it (3605)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46289) - you deserved it (3208)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, while at work, I was shown CCTV footage of myself staring at the chest belonging to a teenager I was serving. I was accused of being a paedophile and nearly fired, all because I wanted to know what version of Spider-Man was on her T-shirt. FML

#21291439
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33883) - you deserved it (5234)

On 11/03/2014 at 7:00pm - work - by Not A Pervert - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." FML

#21291174
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36046) - you deserved it (3024)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:54am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my 16-year-old brother once again scored well at a local archery competition. He got home and, once again, unleashed his "spectacular aim" at the toilet - or rather the toilet seat and surrounding floor. He refuses to clean the bathroom we share every single time he does this. FML

#21290633
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27487) - you deserved it (2316)

On 11/02/2014 at 4:28pm - health - by Mojo0608 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

#21290313
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35613) - you deserved it (3157)

On 11/02/2014 at 6:28am - health - by smellyhair - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his 10th beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML

#21289623
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (3753)

On 11/01/2014 at 10:26am - misc - by helosthisshit (man) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31500) - you deserved it (2628)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, the fire alarm keeps going off at my apartment. Not only is the noise ear-piercingly loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood, there's also a big flashing red light in case the deafening sound isn't enough. This is my day off. It's going on all day. FML

#21288915
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27332) - you deserved it (2403)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:42am - misc - by Shutup! - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

#21287735
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32515) - you deserved it (3428)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom with my husband, so I set up some Halloween torches to create a wild ambiance. Unfortunately our dickhead neighbours saw the glow, didn't remember that fire tends to give off smoke, and called the fire department on us. FML

#21287079
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36390) - you deserved it (7272)

On 10/28/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by BurnedDown (woman) - United Kingdom (East Riding of Yorkshire)

Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML

#21287010
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32073) - you deserved it (2927)

On 10/28/2014 at 2:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

#21285126
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38956) - you deserved it (9109)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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