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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I'm 19, I'm at uni, I've never been kissed and the only person I have had a proper conversation with in the past week is my Mum. FML

#4477
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24997) - you deserved it (4748)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:07am - misc - by geewhiz - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

#4463
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59032) - you deserved it (2676)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my friend had to leave work early for a funeral and on his way out I wanted to say something. All I could think of was "have fun". FML

#3269
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7430) - you deserved it (17888)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by jalopenos - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I went to buy some Ibuprofen and got asked for ID. You have to be over 16 to buy it. I'm 25. FML

#2946
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20314) - you deserved it (2392)

On 01/28/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by noneoftheabove - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I went back to my flat after a night on the town and staying at my girlfriend's. My flat was flooded. I had been sick in the sink and left the tap on all night. FML

#2294
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5159) - you deserved it (19074)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Moe - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I decided to give things a go with the guy that has fancied me for three years, based purely on my looks. After getting to know my personality he has decided he no longer fancies me at all. FML

#2272
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17143) - you deserved it (6574)

On 01/23/2009 at 1:41am - love - by twat - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I received an email from my boss telling me how appreciated I was and how valuable I am to the company. I wish I hadn't scrolled down to read the included conversation where he asked his boss whether to lie to me about how good I was or not. FML

#1527
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17938) - you deserved it (1626)

On 01/17/2009 at 11:00pm - work - by IHateMyJob - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

#1374
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21474) - you deserved it (2113)

On 01/16/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Noname - United Kingdom

Today, I was late for work and took a taxi. The driver tells me he tried to commit suicide recently. I listen to him for 20mins, sat outside my workplace with the meter off. He charges me £5.80 and my boss gives me a warning for being late. FML

#1315
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16997) - you deserved it (2651)

On 01/16/2009 at 2:27am - work - by hapless - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

#1065
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10388) - you deserved it (47155)

On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, my alarm went off. I snoozed it, and went on to dream that I got out of bed, did my business, brushed my teeth, took my breakfast, changed into my working attire, and was ready for work that morning. My alarm rang a second time, I had to do all that over again. FML

#920
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21407) - you deserved it (3626)

On 01/10/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by doh - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I fell in love with a girl on the internet, she's great and funny. She says she's 16, but everyone keeps telling me she's only 11 and that I'm a pedophile. FML

#781
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7446) - you deserved it (35175)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by Sidney - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML

#777
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19696) - you deserved it (16340)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:00pm - love - by Faxshadow - United Kingdom (Hampshire)



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