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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
734 comments

I agree, your life sucks (276568) - you deserved it (146546)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was helping some mental health patients at work, I spent 20 mins to fail to connect the DVD player to the TV and went back to make them something to eat. I came back into the room after 5 mins and one of the patients had connected it for himself. He has a profound learning disability. FML

#2213271
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39156) - you deserved it (21383)

On 05/23/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Tom_why - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)

Today, I went to my best friend's birthday party. After about 15 minutes, I noticed a girl, possibly one of his sisters friends, wearing the same shirt as me. I am a 23 year old bloke. She didn't look a day over 14. FML

#2205796
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33664) - you deserved it (9086)

On 05/23/2009 at 6:53am - misc - by bluewinter (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was desperate for a pee so I used some public toilets which were full of obviously underage girls drinking. I didn't think anything of it until halfway through my business when I looked up to see two of them leaning over the top of the stall taking pictures with a mobile phone. FML

#2139202
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51669) - you deserved it (3754)

On 05/21/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by PublicToiletEspionage (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was visiting my sick grandmother in the hospital when my cousin and I were playing in some empty wheelchairs. After goofing off I said, "They're fun, but I would kill myself if I was in a wheelchair." A little boy rounded the corner and said, "Tell me about it." He was in a wheelchair. FML

#2138736
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10493) - you deserved it (74337)

On 05/21/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by boyo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML

#2114829
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45773) - you deserved it (6821)

On 05/20/2009 at 3:53pm - misc - by Benji (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, on the way to work, I pulled over at a postbox to post a letter. I walked up to the box with the letter in one hand, car key in the other. Guess which one I posted. FML

#2050004
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38253) - you deserved it (24593)

On 05/18/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by Posty (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

#2045344
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68198) - you deserved it (7716)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I spilt boiling tea all over my stomach and left leg, so I went to the hospital to get it checked out. They said I wouldn't be able to expose it to the sun for the next two months. I'm going to Barbados tomorrow. FML

#2014797
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58808) - you deserved it (7174)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by _dopey_ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had organised to go for an all day fishing trip, but had forgotten to book a day off. I called my boss and told him that I had to stay with my mum in hospital after a car crash that she had last night. He called me a liar and fired me. Turns out my mum is having an affair with my boss. FML

#2008725
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61547) - you deserved it (18284)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was sitting next to this really cute guy in choir class. Trying to make conversation, I asked him what his favorite song was. He replied "Leave Me Alone". I asked him who it was by and he said, "It's not a song, I just want you to leave me alone". FML

#1963959
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28320) - you deserved it (8147)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by jayden5 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item, I realised I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML

#1958510
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16188) - you deserved it (56103)

On 05/15/2009 at 7:07am - intimacy - by dwek (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)



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