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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

#20870154
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45060) - you deserved it (4740)

On 09/06/2013 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by jesus christ, dad (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my car broke down. My dad insisted he could fix it, but screwed up in the process. After finally getting the car towed to a mechanic, I was told that I'd only needed a new water pump, but thanks to the damage my dad did, fixing it all will cost me a small fortune. FML

#20870135
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36533) - you deserved it (3039)

On 09/06/2013 at 12:10pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I finally got up the courage to talk to my four-year boyfriend about how insecure I've been feeling in our relationship recently, and how I needed his support while I try to get my self-esteem back on-track. He fell asleep mid-conversation. FML

#20868475
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35871) - you deserved it (4528)

On 09/05/2013 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47074) - you deserved it (2365)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

#20865686
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53056) - you deserved it (3222)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:30am - intimacy - by poolgirl789 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, I was telling my brother about how my new colleagues and I don't share a sense of humour. He replied, "What, you mean they don't pretend to laugh at your jokes like everybody else?" FML

#20864858
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30664) - you deserved it (4806)

On 09/02/2013 at 5:40pm - work - by laughing-stock - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML

#20864381
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57217) - you deserved it (5841)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by yourfault (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

#20861348
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43454) - you deserved it (2700)

On 08/31/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Redbridge)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he would leave me if I didn't seek help for my eating disorder. The eating disorder in question? Vegetarianism. FML

#20860215
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40559) - you deserved it (17905)

On 08/30/2013 at 10:44am - health - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55672) - you deserved it (6215)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

#20858925
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34701) - you deserved it (2263)

On 08/29/2013 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML

#20853472
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25185) - you deserved it (40303)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:50am - misc - by jameen - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40051) - you deserved it (2788)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



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