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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I decided to give things a go with the guy that has fancied me for three years, based purely on my looks. After getting to know my personality he has decided he no longer fancies me at all. FML

#2272
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17049) - you deserved it (6555)

On 01/23/2009 at 1:41am - love - by twat - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I received an email from my boss telling me how appreciated I was and how valuable I am to the company. I wish I hadn't scrolled down to read the included conversation where he asked his boss whether to lie to me about how good I was or not. FML

#1527
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17510) - you deserved it (1590)

On 01/17/2009 at 11:00pm - work - by IHateMyJob - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

#1374
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21390) - you deserved it (2108)

On 01/16/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Noname - United Kingdom

Today, I was late for work and took a taxi. The driver tells me he tried to commit suicide recently. I listen to him for 20mins, sat outside my workplace with the meter off. He charges me £5.80 and my boss gives me a warning for being late. FML

#1315
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16876) - you deserved it (2639)

On 01/16/2009 at 2:27am - work - by hapless - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

#1065
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10123) - you deserved it (46510)

On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, my alarm went off. I snoozed it, and went on to dream that I got out of bed, did my business, brushed my teeth, took my breakfast, changed into my working attire, and was ready for work that morning. My alarm rang a second time, I had to do all that over again. FML

#920
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21317) - you deserved it (3617)

On 01/10/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by doh - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I fell in love with a girl on the internet, she's great and funny. She says she's 16, but everyone keeps telling me she's only 11 and that I'm a pedophile. FML

#781
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7412) - you deserved it (35040)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by Sidney - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML

#777
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19424) - you deserved it (16164)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:00pm - love - by Faxshadow - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

#735
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10394) - you deserved it (49343)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:07am - intimacy - by Noname - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, I have my new iPod Touch, and I'm walking down the street. Since it's really cold, I'm wearing gloves. At some point, I want to change the song, and don't want to remove my gloves. I try changing the song with my nose, for about 3 minutes, until I realize I look really stupid. FML

#665
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5175) - you deserved it (31156)

On 01/01/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Ulysse - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I am a Frenchie who's been in England for two months. While wanting to say to my technician that my manager made me groan during our meeting, I said that he made me moan. Now he keeps looking at me with a grin on his face. FML

#546
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16865) - you deserved it (3281)

On 12/18/2008 at 11:30am - misc - by ladyhead - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull)

Today, I bought "Angus, thongs and perfect snogging" on DVD. FML

#542
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6980) - you deserved it (23441)

On 12/18/2008 at 3:30am - misc - by Wickls - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after repairing the toilet, the light, the shower, the cooker and the heater in the flat I've just moved into, my boiler dies. It's mid December, about 1 degree outside. FML

#526
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20129) - you deserved it (1618)

On 12/16/2008 at 2:55am - misc - by Melie-Melo - United Kingdom (East Sussex)



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