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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted. 'My girlfriend is so stupid she can't even text the right number.' FML

#1775796
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17400) - you deserved it (70682)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:48am - love - by rawkdinosawr (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got into my driving instructors car for my first lesson. He looked at me, then said, "I'm sorry, but I wasn't told about your disabilities, what do you have?" I'm not disabled. FML

#1694606
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57569) - you deserved it (3198)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by wow. (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML

#1690267
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14389) - you deserved it (76943)

On 05/06/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by ElamentalAngel - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

#1687586
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13494) - you deserved it (56298)

On 05/06/2009 at 10:07am - animals - by pissedoffandon (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML

#1602310
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62226) - you deserved it (7093)

On 05/03/2009 at 6:16pm - health - by Cherub (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#1564480
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18609) - you deserved it (42801)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by screamo (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was pissed off. I kicked a soccer ball into my wall, and it bounced back, hit my head and knocked me into the wall behind me. My head hurts like hell. Even inanimate objects hate me. FML

#1448827
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16526) - you deserved it (58020)

On 04/29/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Cammy (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

#1427967
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15385) - you deserved it (56043)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

#1416648
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21441) - you deserved it (226291)

On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

#1349405
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79365) - you deserved it (4344)

On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML

#1315252
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46665) - you deserved it (8885)

On 04/25/2009 at 8:18am - misc - by plasticfantastic - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was at a party. The girl I'm madly in love with referred to me as her 'Gay Friend.' She refused to kiss me in Spin-the-Bottle as 'She didn't want to do anything with anyone that night'. She then made out, and slept with, my 'best friend' whom she had never met before. FML

#1218026
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72794) - you deserved it (5898)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:50am - love - by Bo (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And i was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML

#1186256
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76056) - you deserved it (4293)

On 04/21/2009 at 4:32am - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham)



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