FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend decided he hates my male best friend because they have "conflicting interests." My best friend's response? "What's his gamertag so I can shoot him in Halo?" FML

by MissTrix / 10/28/2010 at 8:58pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Geek

Today, I woke up from sleeping at my friends house with a bunch of other people, with my waist long hair cut into chunks on my pillow. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2010 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told that all the data on my laptop is unrecoverable after my hard drive crashed. I have been charged £300 for them to tell me this. Feeling sorry for myself, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and turned on my fan radiator as it's so cold... and promptly set my carpet on fire. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2010 at 9:50am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous

Today, it is my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

by sambo99 / 10/25/2010 at 1:08pm / United Kingdom (Herefordshire) / Animals

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

by peestain / 10/25/2010 at 6:06am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Kids

Today, I woke up and had a flick through my camera photos. To my disgust my mother had taken pictures of herself, drunk out of her mind, naked with goggles on in our hot tub. FML

by kimbo / 10/25/2010 at 4:28am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I was selling personalised stockings at work. When handing a customer's order over to her, which had no name on, I joked, "Oooh this is a bit mysterious". She replied, "Actually, it's in memory of the baby I miscarried earlier this year." FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 9:06am / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Work

Today, I failed my driving test. The examiner insisted I that didn't check a junction before pulling out. I did, he just didn't notice because he was too busy staring at my chest. FML

by unlucky / 10/21/2010 at 9:55am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Transportation

Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I said, "I'm a girl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML

by lookslikeaboyapparently / 10/19/2010 at 5:23pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I got fined when my fat dog decided to walk across a private film set to get at the catering area. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Money

Today, I was traveling by bus. There were no spare seats, so I stood next to a seated lady. When she got off at her stop, I was amused because her bum made the shape of a mushroom on the seat. I went to sit on it. So I'm sitting there when I realise the seat is really warm... and wet. FML

by babydoll / 10/12/2010 at 5:26am / United Kingdom (Fife) / Transportation

Today, I have a busy day of college work ahead of me. I figured I'd best have a good breakfast. Then I realised I'd completely ran out of food except for various types of sauces and condiments. So what am I having for breakfast today? That's right. A nice cup of Gravy. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 2:24am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Miscellaneous