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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML

#3983429
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46668) - you deserved it (3610)

On 07/23/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Gg (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML

#3960027
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49404) - you deserved it (5419)

On 07/22/2009 at 7:35pm - love - by OneYearMistake. (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was telling my dad about plans to go out late for a few drinks next week. My dad started his usual "YOU COULD GET RAPED!" lecture, before my brother sprang to my defence, "It's not like she's what they're after, is she?" Apparently, rapists are out of my league. FML

#3880719
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42950) - you deserved it (4368)

On 07/19/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by adalia (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, I was in a music shop looking for a new guitar when someone called out someone else's name and jumped on my back. I lost balance and fell forward and broke 3 guitars and damaged another 6. The guy said "Sorry, thought you were someone else" and ran out. I now have to pay £2500. FML

#3741776
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61492) - you deserved it (2814)

On 07/14/2009 at 9:39am - money - by SomeoneElse (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML

#3741117
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70987) - you deserved it (14563)

On 07/14/2009 at 8:23am - misc - by paddy (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I spent hours and hours trying to figure out why the wireless internet on my laptop wasn't working, but everything I tried completely failed. At the end of the day, my older brother came home, and fixed the problem in under 10 seconds by turning the wireless internet switch on. FML

#3690110
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8461) - you deserved it (52513)

On 07/12/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by divineinstrument (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I got further with a guy than I've ever before. By that, I mean I got his phone number. FML

#3575019
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50792) - you deserved it (8367)

On 07/08/2009 at 3:28am - misc - by stupiddddddd (woman) - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I queued up for few hours in torrential rain to see the Harry Potter premiere. After just four hours sleep and waking at 3am, I fell asleep during film and missed the whole thing. FML

#3549389
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17704) - you deserved it (57451)

On 07/07/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML

#3502786
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47979) - you deserved it (2583)

On 07/05/2009 at 11:58am - love - by curiousorange (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out why my girlfriend of 8 months has never agreed to stay the night before. Now I have a 4-month old mattress that needs replacing, and a 23-year-old bedwetter for a girlfriend. FML

#3500030
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48026) - you deserved it (7935)

On 07/05/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by wetboy (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML

#3475605
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36602) - you deserved it (9391)

On 07/04/2009 at 6:42am - kids - by Peta2nNoMore (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I spent hours arguing with my mother, who claimed I shouldn't make a three hour drive because I wouldn't be able to concentrate for that long. I argued that I was a perfectly capable driver, and left. In the last 2 minutes of the journey, I hit a van and messed up the front of my car. FML

#3466010
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12966) - you deserved it (35370)

On 07/03/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by neverdrivingagain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML

#3435497
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34351) - you deserved it (6055)

On 07/02/2009 at 8:12pm - love - by Damnsoup (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)



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