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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I was on webcam with someone and the conversation died so I said "brb". I sat there for five minutes not realising I had left my webcam on. FML

#2334865
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7173) - you deserved it (70049)

On 05/27/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Arrgh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML

#2308873
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59326) - you deserved it (3363)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML

#2302795
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57975) - you deserved it (5766)

On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

#2282414
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16837) - you deserved it (31428)

On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by wordmalfunction (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
721 comments

I agree, your life sucks (248588) - you deserved it (111343)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was helping some mental health patients at work, I spent 20 mins to fail to connect the DVD player to the TV and went back to make them something to eat. I came back into the room after 5 mins and one of the patients had connected it for himself. He has a profound learning disability. FML

#2213271
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37476) - you deserved it (20397)

On 05/23/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Tom_why - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)

Today, I went to my best friend's birthday party. After about 15 minutes, I noticed a girl, possibly one of his sisters friends, wearing the same shirt as me. I am a 23 year old bloke. She didn't look a day over 14. FML

#2205796
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31378) - you deserved it (8764)

On 05/23/2009 at 6:53am - misc - by bluewinter (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was desperate for a pee so I used some public toilets which were full of obviously underage girls drinking. I didn't think anything of it until halfway through my business when I looked up to see two of them leaning over the top of the stall taking pictures with a mobile phone. FML

#2139202
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47059) - you deserved it (3368)

On 05/21/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by PublicToiletEspionage (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was visiting my sick grandmother in the hospital when my cousin and I were playing in some empty wheelchairs. After goofing off I said, "They're fun, but I would kill myself if I was in a wheelchair." A little boy rounded the corner and said, "Tell me about it." He was in a wheelchair. FML

#2138736
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9500) - you deserved it (70938)

On 05/21/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by boyo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML

#2114829
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42586) - you deserved it (6425)

On 05/20/2009 at 3:53pm - misc - by Benji (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, on the way to work, I pulled over at a postbox to post a letter. I walked up to the box with the letter in one hand, car key in the other. Guess which one I posted. FML

#2050004
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35400) - you deserved it (23230)

On 05/18/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by Posty (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

#2045344
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61114) - you deserved it (6180)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)



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