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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I watched my boyfriend's band play a gig. I also found out he pulls the same faces playing the bass as he does when we have sex. FML

#5626846
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16071) - you deserved it (4267)

On 10/03/2009 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by ohnoooooo (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I wore a beautiful new dress that I got for £5 only in a sale. I've been turning heads in it all day. When I got home, my mum pulled the massive red £5 tag off of the back. FML

#5620277
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12201) - you deserved it (35158)

On 10/03/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Adalia (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I went down to my accommodation office in fiery wrath, demanding that something be done about my three-days-cold shower. Looking dubious, they sent someone back with me. As soon as we got there he looked at me with deep pity and pulled the cord in the corner that activated the hot water. FML

#5602388
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5870) - you deserved it (31891)

On 10/02/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by abrazama (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as 'some weirdo had walked into her house.' I am that weirdo, she wasn't joking. FML

#5600250
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31580) - you deserved it (2351)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:46am - misc - by forgotten (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I had a big exam. 20 minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML

#5563519
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8855) - you deserved it (45260)

On 09/30/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by failfailfail - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I left home to start my new life at University. Saying goodbye to my mother, the last thing she said to me was "Don't turn gay". I'm gay. FML

#5562367
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48190) - you deserved it (9998)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, it was my birthday. I asked my mom that instead of a present if she would make a donation to my favourite charity. She said that this wasn't a "proper" present for a 15-year-old girl. Instead she got me a kettle because "ours had broke and you make the most tea in the family." FML

#5561209
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33329) - you deserved it (4852)

On 09/30/2009 at 2:17am - misc - by qwerty6 - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dog died. I spent ages digging him a grave and buried him in the garden so that my dad wouldn't have to deal with the stress when he got home from work. When my dad got home he told me that he had wanted the dog to be cremated. I have just had to dig up my dog's body. FML

#5509670
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36244) - you deserved it (4440)

On 09/27/2009 at 4:54pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML

#5504838
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8470) - you deserved it (45190)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:59am - misc - by absentmindedmoron (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I listened to my voice mail messages for the first time in months. One was from my Grandma that must have been meant for Gramps. I think I know now why my mother has so many siblings. FML

#5502939
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19731) - you deserved it (1656)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML

#5502747
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48229) - you deserved it (3765)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, after the most stressful two weeks of my life, I finally found a few minutes to sit down with a relaxing cup of tea. I went to take a sip, sneezed, smashed the mug into my nose, and dumped scalding hot tea all over my face and cleavage. FML

#5481614
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36820) - you deserved it (4822)

On 09/26/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by pygmalion (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML

#5480750
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33147) - you deserved it (5714)

On 09/26/2009 at 4:00am - misc - by vcarder - United Kingdom



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